I've read the articles on how to be confident, but I can't quite hack the ability to 'fake it till I make it'. I think that maybe the key is self love, but i can't quite acquire that ability either. I don't even know where to begin on either of these aspects of myself, any advice?
In all honesty, I don't think you should fake it. Self-love and confidence should be true, and real otherwise it's just going to feel fake. I'd say try by just wearing something you feel damn good in, take some selfies, post them on Instagram. Wear make-up if you need to. You could also try just doing something that makes you feel proud of yourself. So drawing something, completing a project, this will make you feel proud of yourself, and lead to you believing in yourself, and hopefully self-confidence! x
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How do you know you are asexual? I'm 16 and have never felt any attraction to anyone in that way but I don't know if it's because I have no attraction to the people I've met or if it is just the way I am.
With knowing that you're asexual, its all personal. Theres no set guidelines with being asexual, its different for every person. Its all personal, but if you believe you are then you may be :) - Elizabeth
You can find articles on asexual here. You can find 4 articles focused on Asexuality, feel free to contact us if you have any questions.- Emily
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I've been feeling really horrible and awful and I don't know what to do
Sometimes feelings and mental states can take a great big 180 turn, something you're probably unfortunately aware of.
It's hard to do anything when feeling this way so the fact you've asked for advice is brilliant.
When I use to get these feelings, I use to ensure to take 5 to 10 mins out of my day to completely focus on these feeling and just rummage around in my head. What am I actually fearing right now?
Although this can be daunting, for me it greatly helped. I'd imagine each thought being filed into a cabinet to organise them or, if it really bothered me, going straight into the shredder.
Make sure you are being as up front with your feelings when possible and give yourself a chance to let it burst out.
DON'T MAKE YOUR FEELINGS INTO PHYSICAL DANGERS
If you can, even if it is just one, ensure an adult is aware of how you are feeling (preferably one who is caring, you know how some adults can be!)
It's great you are looking for answers. It's okay to feel this way. You're doing great.
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Hi, lately I've been getting the feeling that I'm hollow, almost as if I'm empty inside Okay
This can be quite a common feeling, even though unpleasant, for people who are going through their teenager years. Some things that you can do to feel less hollow is writing or drawing, or any creative outlet that you have. You can show people, or you can just keep it to yourself,especially if it makes you happy!
If this hollowness is also linked with no motivation and a feeling of helplessness, then maybe now is a good time to surround yourself with good influences and supportive friends.
If there is also a feeling of loneliness, I suggest reaching out to some people online, us being a great start! As well as making friends around you.
Now don't panic or self diagnose yourself with any mental health issues! Please go see a medical or mental health professional before taking the step of a diagnosis. This could be a very normal reaction to your hormones or to just being a teenager. It just means you need some you time, and a little extra support.
Have a bath, paint your nails, ride your bike or cuddle a cute animal, watch a funny video, and hang out with some nice people.
Do NOT lock yourself away with a feeling of hollowness or emptiness.
If you create anything you are proud of, feel free to email it to us and we can post it on our Instagram, trust me, we are proud of things you do.
Thanks for writing to us, you are not alone and I hope you look after yourself.
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I used to suffer with depression, but I'm much better now, or at least I've been much better this year, But lately I've noticed that I have been showing signs of depression again, and I don't know what to do anymore. I just wanna sleep through my life, and just disappear.
The signs that you got through the depression the first time you dealt with it is a good thing, you need to focus and try to remember what techniques and strategies you used to get through it the previous time, as different things may work for different people. If not, putting yourself in a positive environment with friends (usually outside of school) but still making sure that you don't feel overwhelmed with it all, help can sometimes start with the people around you. Maybe a close relative or friend can talk with you to help let off some steam. It's all about times and personal help in the end, do what makes you comfortable.
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So I've had a girlfriend for two months and it's my first real relationship. I'm 15 and I've never kissed anyone before. Well I'm staying at my friends tonight for her birthday and my gf (let's call her Hannah Montana) she is staying tonight as well. And when we stay at my friends we usually just share beds since she has a bunk but now it's different because we are dating and I have this feeling deep down we might kiss because there's been those little times when if one of us moves we would've. I'm really nervous about this because i don't know how to kiss and Hannah Montana is as inexperienced as me ugh it's really confusing but i hope you understand.
If there's any advice please help before tonight thank you
I'm Sophia. And yes, your first kiss can be scary. However, I'm telling you- it WILL be ok. Now, likely, you two may share a bed. If you do, fret not. Just breathe and relax. Just talk to her, and if the moment is right, go for it. However, if you're scared, just talk to her about how you feel. I'm sure she'll understand. She may even feel the same way! May good luck and good vibes be sent your way- and remember- be yourself
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Teenage is supposed to be the brightest years of life filled with friends, families, rebellious teen spirit, joy, happiness. but for me it didn't unravelled so. having no friends and family issues that demanded a lot of me (which was right, but a little early I guess and definitely not the way I'd imagined). with all that the inner child dies and I can feel mine suffocating.
It is often said that your teenage years are supposed to be the best years of your life. Feeling like everything is unravelling based on that phrase is something that a lot of people go through.
My advice for this is to find an anchor. Find something that you can immerse yourself in, that you can use over and over again to bring you that joy, be it a band/ music artist you like to listen to, an extracurricular activity like a book club. Finding people with common interests is the easiest way to make friends. Remember to focus on the positives, the lessons you learn compared to where you'll be in 5-10 years. Go have fun. That's what being a teenager is all about.
I know family issues are difficult. I've gone through five years of them. This is how I picked myself up. It's how I reminded myself that it's okay to have fun, to make mistakes.
Hope this helps you,
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How do I kiss my boyfriend properly when he is kind of lovey dovey? I don't know if he's ready yet so I don't really want to act like I am controlling him or forcing him to take the relationship to the next level...what should I do? How do I kiss him at school without people staring at us? There's literally nowhere to go because there is nowhere private for us. What should I do??
Hello Jessica, my name is Naomi. I understand that trying to figure out if your boyfriend (or anyone, for that matter) is ready to kiss can be difficult. So I'd recommend that you make a mental note of how he acts with you and what you both have already done. Have you held hands or hugged? Does he lean in close or kiss your cheek? Think about if you're ready to make that kind of move yet. It's completely okay if your not. I'd also recommend that you try not to think about it to much. If the moment is right then it'll happen without you even putting much thought into it. Also a busy school probably isn't the best place to do it. Meet up after school or at the weekend. It should be a moment that you share together in an environment in which you both feel comfortable in. With that being said, you can just ask him. There is definitely no shame in asking him if he is ready! I hope my advice helps. :)
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Okay so I came out as transgender (ftm) to my friends about 9 months ago and to my mum about 7 months ago. All of my friends have been really supportive of me and always try their best to get my pronouns and name right - even my teachers try their best as well and are supportive of it all. Anyway, recently my mum has started to turn against it all and has started calling me by my old name and using female pronouns, she doesn't like it when my friends or teachers use male pronouns/name either and she says that she's never going to call me Caspar or help me change it through deed poll. My younger sister (she's 14 and I'm 15) told me the other day that she doesn't like it all and that I'm just attention seeking and she won't support me in the future with it and my mum agreed with her. Not only this, but I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety about a year ago now, but my mum hasn't helped me to get any counselling for it and I've had to cope with it by myself, although she got my sister counselling when she was diagnosed with it less than a year ago. However, my younger sister overdosed on pills the other day and texted my mum to tell her (so I'm not sure if she's actually suicidal or not as if you wanted to kill yourself, you wouldn't ask someone to take you to the hospital minutes after overdosing, but there you go). Now she's out and fine but the main thing that I needed help with is the fact that my depression has gotten so bad, especially since I haven't gotten any help for it and my family are disowning me. I've had so many suicidal thoughts recently and even started to self harm as it had gotten that bad. I don't want to tell my mum how bad my depression is as she'll probably think that I'm attention seeking and just trying to copy my sister, but I'm really not and it really has gotten so bad that I've already written out my suicide note. I don't know what to do because I'm so done with life and everything and feel as though it's better if I end it than continuing to suffer. Yet I don't want to make my friends go through it all, especially because my best friend is also depressed but her mum said that since I've come into her life she's been much happier and doesn't self harm as much. I feel like killing myself is the better option for me, but I don't think that my friends, especially my best friend, will be able to cope through that - especially because we've got out GCSEs this year. I don't know what to do and I know that you aren't professional counsellors, but any advice would be appreciated in this situation. Thank you and I'm sorry that I made you read an essay but I needed to tell someone as I haven't told anybody about how bad my depression is currently.
Hello Casper! I don't mind the essay at all! Now the recent events of your family disowning you and doing things against your will- even stopping you from getting the professional help you need- all leads to a form of mental abuse. My advice to you is to tell a teacher what they are doing, especially a teacher you trust, as they have the resources and mind set to help you. Your friends will be supportive, but in this situation won't be able to change anything.
With the self harm research the butterfly project, as it helped me to get away from self harm. You have the correct mindset in not commuting suicide because of your friends, but its also for you. It may be easier now, but you are cutting away a huge future, you could even be the person who accidentally stumbles across the cure for cancer! You are very important to the world, do you need to think about your future too- what are you going to miss? A lot!
Please take this all into consideration, and really try to tell a teacher or someone of authority. It will hurt you more over time if they don't stop and no one knows about it.
Good luck, locket
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I think I am gay, but I am not sure. I think I like girls but I have never been in a relationship with on. How do I find out what my sexuality is?
Hi there! I too was/am really confused about my sexuality, and identified as straight for my full life until this year! Where I thought I was bi, only too have second thoughts. Sexualities are so confusing, but it's important not to rely on a label snd just be comfortable with you! There is plenty of time to experiment with different people and find out who you are attracted to, you really can't rush these things! You could watch some youtube videos or blog posts about people coming out snd seeing how they realised they were bi/gay, and it might relate to you! Please don't stress about it too much, you will find out when the time is right! Ebony
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