I'm 14 and my brother is 12. He constantly calls me fat. I know I'm not "thin" but I'm not a sumo wrestler but I'm afraid it's got me really watching my weight without realising it. In PE this morning we were in the gym and i was watching the calorie bar like a hawk. I guess there's not much advice you guys can give for this thing but help Please.
Hi Rose Quartz,
The first thing you should remember is that the only person’s opinion on your body and appearance that matters is your own. Your brother calling you fat might make you feel insecure but as long as you know that you’re a healthy weight then that’s the important thing, because being exceptionally skinny is just unhealthy as being overweight.
If you are worried about being overweight and would like to lose some weight, then doing it the right way is also important. When you’re 14, your body is constantly changing and going through puberty so having enough energy and food is vital. A healthy way to go about it would be consciously making healthier decisions about food (not eating less or starving yourself) and doing a bit more exercise - you don’t have to join a gym, but little things can help like walking to school rather than getting the bus or going in the car.
If your brother is constantly calling you fat, it may be worth talking to your parents/carer and getting them to talk to him and asking him to stop.
I hope this helps!
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I'm 13 years old, can I use a binder? My mother thinks it's bad for my body but I hate my breasts.
You can bind at 13 as long as you buy a proper, fitting binder (I recommend GC2B binders). However at 13 you're still developing and to bind safely you'll have to keep buying a bigger size as you grow, which can be expensive. If you can afford it then give it a try, but I would personally wait until you've grown a bit to be safe.
Hope that this helps!
Eli (guest writer)
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I'm 18 and I feel sad and awkward because I never had a boyfriend, and I don't know why do I make a big deal out of this!
Hello there, I am Sophia!
I am 17, and I used to feel the same way. So, here's my advice: your being is so much more than having a man by your side. Men at this age are immature, so if they haven't noticed you, it isn't your fault. You're an amazing person; I can tell by the way you were comfortable enough to reach out for help. So if I were you, I'd give the boys time to mature. However, if you're considering a relationship, remember that relationships are a give and take. You need to put as much of yourself out there as you can while maintaining your current lifestyle. Relationships are sacrifice, so make sure you are ready for that sort of commitment. If you are, look for someone who appreciates you for everything you are AND aren't. Try starting as friends, and slowly work your way into a trusting relationship. Remember you are never forced to stay with someone: if they insult you, leave. Be who you are, and you will find someone right for you eventually. Stay strong!
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So girl problems.
How do I deal with periods in school?
Especially when it's so hard to get to the bathrooms at break time and when I took so long before my friends thought I was doing "a number 2" but it's the friend who hasn't started her period yet so she won't understand. But I need advice how am i to deal with this!?
- This is my Name
Girl problems are normal, I'd say maybe practice doing the things that are taking up the most time in the routine, and have everything as convenient as possible. So like, have a little discreet cosmetics kit with a few pads (or tampons if that's what you use), some wipes (which can seriously help the process move along), and some extra underwear. Because it's in a little carrying case, nobody needs to know what's in it. I mean, worse comes to worse, you explain it to her, because periods are a natural thing that happen and she's probably getting hers within a few months, at that age. You shouldn't be ashamed to tell your friends, it is a normal, natural thing! You shouldn't be ashamed.
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I haven't been happy in 12 years, I'm 17. What do I do if I see no point to living.
Hello, my name is Naomi and although you may not feel like there is a point to living... there is. You can do whatever you want with this one life that you have. You can achieve you greatest dreams. I know it's 'cheesy' but it's true. You can be whoever you want to be. If you truly see no point in life then I do have some tips on how to try to change that. Firstly, you could practice mindfulness. Mindfulness is when you take a couple minutes of your time to fully concentrate your mind on one specific thing such as the leaves on the trees. Think about their colour, how they sound when you stand on them, how they blow in the wind, how the feel, etc. Or you can go through your five senses. What can you see? What can you hear? What can you smell? What does everything around you feel like? Is there something you can taste. This exercise helps to ground you and allows you concentrate more whilst relieving stress. This also may help you see some of the beauty in the world. I also recommend volunteering at a place in which you can help others. Helping others gives you purpose and it will bring you joy. Volunteer at a pet shelter, an elderly home or even a charity shop. You could also take up a new hobby. Try something you've never done before or create a list of things you want to try in that month! I also recommend making a future board. Plan for the future and where you'd like to be in five years. Will you be at college or University? Do you want to move into your own house? What will you study? Where will you work? What will your bedroom or house look like? Will you have pets. This will give you something to strive for and goals to aim for. This also may help motivate you to do work, etc. I hope my advice helps in some way! You are an amazing person that is capable of amazing things.
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How do I kiss my boyfriend properly when he is kind of lovey dovey? I don't know if he's ready yet so I don't really want to act like I am controlling him or forcing him to take the relationship to the next level...what should I do? How do I kiss him at school without people staring at us? There's literally nowhere to go because there is nowhere private for us. What should I do??
Hello Jessica, my name is Naomi. I understand that trying to figure out if your boyfriend (or anyone, for that matter) is ready to kiss can be difficult. So I'd recommend that you make a mental note of how he acts with you and what you both have already done. Have you held hands or hugged? Does he lean in close or kiss your cheek? Think about if you're ready to make that kind of move yet. It's completely okay if your not. I'd also recommend that you try not to think about it to much. If the moment is right then it'll happen without you even putting much thought into it. Also a busy school probably isn't the best place to do it. Meet up after school or at the weekend. It should be a moment that you share together in an environment in which you both feel comfortable in. With that being said, you can just ask him. There is definitely no shame in asking him if he is ready! I hope my advice helps. :)
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How do I stop being shy of being gay?
to help stop being shy about your sexuality, you first need to accept yourself as once you have accepted yourself fully you can conquer any feelings that come, no matter what they are. Never let others or even yourself mate you believe that you need to change who you are, no one just wakes up one morning thinking 'today I'm going to be gay,' it takes a lot of thinking and exploring to figure out who you are. It's easier for some than for others. When the time is right some people including myself decide to tell those closest to them, this doesn't necessarily include family. I found once I had told my closest friends I was more confident to show the true me and was initially less shy. You also should understand that you are no different to any straight person or person of any other sexuality. Find the source of what makes you shy and work with it after all it's more difficult to lose it than to work with it and to not let it affect you.
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Hey, so for roughly about a year now I've been questioning my sexuality and lately i've decided that I might be bisexual. I'm not completely sure on this but I do feel there is a great chance that I am. I feel attracted to boys but also for the past year I've felt similar feelings for girls but not completely. I'm so confused and if I am bisexual, I'm terrified of coming out, mainly for the reason that in my school being trans or bi is seen as "attention seeking" or people are just lying about it for "popularity and respect" also my family are strong christians. Any advice?
"First off I'd say that they shouldn't come out unless it's definitely safe, that they feel ready and feel as if it will only have a positive impact, and that also they shouldn't feel pressured to come to their parents just yet, maybe start off with their friends or someone who they know would certainly support them, because coming out to someone for the first time and being judged/mistreated etc on the first account is really awful. Also they shouldn't feel pressured into definitely labelling themselves as bisexual because labels may seem important but they aren't when it comes down to personal preferences, and as long as they know that they're not attention seeking/looking for popularity, then that is the main thing, because self-opinion/worth is more important than anyone else's opinion on yourself" - Jaz
"I understand your confusion as a bisexual myself, and I know why you are struggling to come to terms with the sexuality you may identify as. My advice to you would be: Experiment and ask your online friends or one of us (perhaps me?) on how they came out and how they feel about boys and girls and see if they match how you may feel, take time to make sure you are definitely bisexual before coming out. (You may be Pansexual and that is similar to Bisexuality). You have mentioned your parents and the only advice I have for you is try seeing how they feel about a bisexual celebrity? This would give you an idea on how they would react to you. Feel free to get in contact with me through TWE" - Ciara x
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The book that I've chosen to recommend this month is: Am I Normal Yet? by Holly Bourne. I bought and read this book a couple of years ago on holiday, and have been obsessed with it ever since. Here is the blurb before I get deeper into it!
"All Evie wants is to be normal. And now that she's almost off her meds and at a new college where no one knows her as the-girl-who-went-nuts, there's only one thing left to tick off her list...
But relationships can mess with anyone's head - something Evie's new friends Amber and Lottie know only too well. The trouble is, if Evie won't tell them her secrets, how can they stop her making a huge mistake?"
This book is a great eye opener about OCD: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, which is a mental health condition where people have overwhelming urges, called compulsions, and obsessive thoughts. I researched into OCD a little, and found a good description of symptoms of OCD on the NHS website.
I feel that this is a great book with so much emotion and understanding about mental health disorders, and it really helped me to understand how people feel dealing with these things every day. It really made me think about how silly it is that people say "OMG I'm so OCD!", as I can imagine this really upsetting people. It made me realise that some people don't understand how life changing these things can be- it is not something cool, it is something you would never wish on people!
I would definitely recommend this book as a great read for mature teenagers, as there are some parts which younger readers might find disturbing.
I think I might be ftm transgender but i am confused about it and I been thinking about it for along time. What are the symptoms of being transgender?
First I don't wanna sound rude but the use of "symptoms" is transphobic as it implies being trans is an illness, understand that the writer probably didn't mean it but I think using "signs" would be a better alternative
And the signs can vary person to person but body dysphoria is common, dislike of the top half or bottom half or both. A disconnection to first name if it doesn't match the gender you prefer. If you like people using the opposite gender pronouns with you and dislike the pronouns matching your sex then that's another. And a strong discomfort on gender roles - as in if you're ftm you might really dislike "girly" things like makeup and dresses but enjoy "boyish" things like hoodies and jeans. But you don't necessarily have to fall under these signs, like you can get transgenders who have no dysphoria or still like their chosen name or like the gender role of their sex whilst still being trans.
In the end it's just all about how you feel inside. There's no rush to find a label
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