Hey Teens with experience
My sexuality has been something I have struggled with for 4 years. I never thought about it, I always assumed I was straight (the default right?) until a girl I was talking to in class asked me what my sexuality was, I new she was Bi and I hesitated. I answered with "I never thought about it". This has haunted me since, why did I hesitate?
Since then I kinda repressed it until recently when I watched something that made all my questioning resurfaced. I wouldn't care except it's affecting my everyday life. I have never been sexually attracted to anyone so I thought I was maybe asexual? But I can imagine myself being romantic and sexual with people of any gender? Nothing repulses me and I don't know if this is because I'm not bothered by the LGBT+ community, or because I have a very strong imagination?
I just really want to learn who I am, I feel like part of myself is missing, I feel like I don't know myself.
Hi Laila, thanks so much for contacting us here at TWE! Sexuality can be a difficult thing to navigate, and questioning it is something many young people experience at some point. Being a teenager is the time when people become aware of their romantic interest, and also start to experiment a bit for some, so it's totally natural for you to be beginning to think about your sexuality.
However, if thinking about your sexuality is becoming an issue for you, it's a great think you've reached out for help. Although I can fully understand that not being able to identify yourself with a particular group or label such as bi, asexual, gay, etc.. can be difficult and leave you feeling lost, many people actually go through life without calling themselves anything, and focus on what they like without worrying about what to call themselves. Your sexuality is a big part of you, so if you're trying to work out what it is you like, perhaps try to focus more on exactly that, knowing what you do and don't like, instead of trying to work out what term you fit under. Also, you may not know for a while now exactly what you like, and that's also okay! Don't rush into anything, just make sure that whatever happens, you're comfortable and happy with it, it doesn't matter who it is (or isn't) with, and who knows, perhaps along the way you'll work out how you'd like to identify. For now though, just know that lots of young people go through your situation, and it's completely okay to not know who you are just yet, just try to focus on whatever makes you happy!
All the best - Emmy
Hi, so since it's pride month and I'm genderfluid, I want to come out to my mum on genderfluid pride day (16th of June) but I'm not sure what to say or how to explain it since she isn't very aware of all of the gender identities and their definitions, what should I do?
Hi Tegan! It may be worth explaining to your mum what it means to be genderfluid, because then she has a full understanding of what you’re trying to tell her you are. Possibly plan a little bit of what you want to say to her, but don’t over think it - this will probably make you a lot more nervous as you’re trying to remember all these things you want to explain to her. Try and treat it as a relatively normal conversation; sit her down and just say that you need to talk to her about something. That’s a good way of showing her that it’s important to you. Then maybe explain that you’re genderfluid, and then define what that means, and just see where the conversation takes you. Good luck, I hope it all goes well! - Tasha x
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