How to not care about what other people think about me?
Hi Afia, thank you for getting in touch.
This is something I completely understand and I thought about it for years. Throughout my teenage years I have watched other people live care free and I was so jealous. What I’ve taught myself is that nobody’s opinion matters but my own. If I like it, I’ll do it. If I don’t, I won’t. Its a journey I had with myself that has taken until the age of 17 to conquer and I think I’m getting there. To not care about others opinions is to have an outlook on the world that is surrounding yourself. Again, only care about what you think and if people try to tell you otherwise or disagree with you, you can either take it into account constructively or disregard it. It’s easier said than done, but the more you practice and the more you tell yourself positive things the easier it is to achieve. - Courtney xx
Well I'm lesbian and I just got a girlfriend and she is so much prettier than me and more popular we both love each other and I know it isn't all about looks but I genuinely AM ugly and she is gorgeous. I have good skin with no spots or freckles, nice eyes but really horrible eyebrows and the thinnest lips ever but I'm allergic to EVERY type of makeup I've tried and I just want to look at least decent I know this sound kind of pointless but me and my girlfriend both self harm people know that she does but no one know about me and I have severe anxiety especially over my looks please help if you can what do I do if I'm way too ugly compared to her - Harriet
Hi Harriet! It is normal to feel like this especially in a relationship with someone, it is easy to think that you're not good enough for them. You need to remember that there is a reason she is your girlfriend, and she might even feel similar to this about you! Try talking to her about this, and you can both help each other. You don't need makeup to look nice, you may have heard this many times before but it is true. You could talk to a doctor about your allergies and they may be able to recommend some makeup that you can wear and is safe for your skin. Good luck and if you need any more help please ask! -Ella
Hi. I'm not sure quite where to begin. I guess I'll jump straight into it - I think I have an eating disorder. I've done some research and found one that fits me all do well - compulsive eating disorder. If I'm honest, I don't think my parents would be all too supportive, and my grandparents would be plain rude about it. I have had the same body type all my life - I'm skinny and slightly above average height for my age - and if I'm honest, it only appears as a hindrance for recovery. It feels like the only way I can recover is by developing a hatred for my body and forcing myself to diet in some sick, twisted way. The problem is, this has been going on for three years, nearly, though I've only just noticed it. I have no other ideas on recovery, there are no articles for this type of eating disorder here, and I don't think I have anywhere else to turn to.
First of all, I just want to say that you have definitely made a good start by realising that there is a problem. I beg that you don't self diagnose though and seek the help of a health care professional when you can. Whether your school nurse or psychologist, family doctor or general practitioner (GP), or you ask a trusted family friend or adult if you are a minor, or even just ask a friend to go with you.
I've done some research since reading your question on Compulsive Eating Disorder or Binge Eating Disorder (CED or BED) to see what the best thing for you to do now might be. I still strongly urge you to go and get a diagnosis and then talk treatment options with a professional. If this is strongly out of the question then I think there are a few things that you could do for yourself in a healthy way to change your habits.
First of all, definitely have meal/food journal. Whether this be an app on your phone, or just written out on some lined paper. Tracking everything you eat in a day is a good start to any change in diet. From there, make notes on when you are eating the most and in that time period you can try distract yourself with something else that is healthier and/or more productive than a compulsive binge.
Drink water every time you feel like eating something, wait twenty minutes and then decide if you want to eat it. It is important that you do eat three healthily proportioned meals a day though. However drinking water before a meal will help you feel fuller quicker.
I really hope that this has helped you, and I am sorry on behalf of the TWE writers that there aren't many articles on eating disorders especially ones related to EDNOS (eating disorders not otherwise specified) or CED/BED.
I hope that you find it a little easier to smile and deal with this issue. If you want to send in another question on what to do about the parents and grandparents issue then please do, we will be happy to help.
Thank you for reaching out to us, but this is just the first step. Keep going!
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I'm 14 and my brother is 12. He constantly calls me fat. I know I'm not "thin" but I'm not a sumo wrestler but I'm afraid it's got me really watching my weight without realising it. In PE this morning we were in the gym and i was watching the calorie bar like a hawk. I guess there's not much advice you guys can give for this thing but help Please.
Hi Rose Quartz,
The first thing you should remember is that the only person’s opinion on your body and appearance that matters is your own. Your brother calling you fat might make you feel insecure but as long as you know that you’re a healthy weight then that’s the important thing, because being exceptionally skinny is just unhealthy as being overweight.
If you are worried about being overweight and would like to lose some weight, then doing it the right way is also important. When you’re 14, your body is constantly changing and going through puberty so having enough energy and food is vital. A healthy way to go about it would be consciously making healthier decisions about food (not eating less or starving yourself) and doing a bit more exercise - you don’t have to join a gym, but little things can help like walking to school rather than getting the bus or going in the car.
If your brother is constantly calling you fat, it may be worth talking to your parents/carer and getting them to talk to him and asking him to stop.
I hope this helps!
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I'm 13 years old, can I use a binder? My mother thinks it's bad for my body but I hate my breasts.
You can bind at 13 as long as you buy a proper, fitting binder (I recommend GC2B binders). However at 13 you're still developing and to bind safely you'll have to keep buying a bigger size as you grow, which can be expensive. If you can afford it then give it a try, but I would personally wait until you've grown a bit to be safe.
Hope that this helps!
Eli (guest writer)
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I have some problems. First,my body image. I don't like myself,I'm a bit overweight. Sometimes I think I can be good with it and accept it,but just can't because there are other teenagers that always remind me of my body calling me fat.I do work out but it takes time to get to my body goal.I just don't know how to cope with it so sometimes I miss out fun and have a bad day. Also I overthink,I am a good person so other people can fuck me up easily.When I'm at school I always crack jokes and am the fun,crazy,weird one but when I come home I completely shut down and go to my bedroom watch youtubers or stuff like that.I have depression from time to time and I just wanna go away from here.
I get how you you feel!
I have many issues with my body weight. Please, know your not alone.
I was called titanic in my first two years of high school.
Yes it will take time to get your gw but just keep going and you will reach it. Don't always get upset.
At the end of the day. Your body is you.
Don't listen to the pathetic bully.
If you have have a councilor or therapist then talk to them.
What ever you do do not harm yourself.
I hope I helped. My instagram is alicianewnsx if you want to talk more
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