I'm planning on getting intimate with my boyfriend but i've never been intimate with anyone before and i have a massive ""fear"" of looking at a penis, any advice on how i could overcome this to gain a sexual part in our relationship?
Hi Saryna, I’m sure everyone feels like this before their first intimate experience, I know I did. Maybe you could talk to your boyfriend about your fears and things that you’re nervous or worried about so he knows how you’re feeling. As long as you take it slow and are not pressured into doing anything that you don’t want to do so it’s consensual for you both. I hope this helps! Sarah x
Hi! It's probably going to be very long, I'm so sorry about that, I just really don't know who to talk to right now...
So I am bisexual and I've been in a 'relationship' with a girl for four months now - it is my first relationship. The reason I put quotation marks here is because she's not out to her family yet, so her parents don't know about us. She is also really shy and never acts like a girlfriend when we see each other. Like, she avoids contact, and I once asked if I could kiss her and she panicked and said no. Long story short, it doesn't feel like a relationship to me. I mean I do have a lot of affection for her, but I really feel like loosing my time here, like if we weren't together.
Meanwhile, a good friend of mine - a boy this time - recently made me understand that he loved me. I never felt that way about him, but now that I think about it, I'm confused about my feelings for him. We saw each other yesterday with our families and he said he'd kissed three girls during the summer. It made me a little angry because he apparently still talks with one of them like lovers, but he still asked me out? However, I probably don't have the right to be annoyed, after all I friendzoned him...
So the thing is, I don't know what to do now. I am not sure about my feelings for my girlfriend anymore. I understand how hard it is for her to come out and be more demonstrative, but I'm tired of hiding. At first I thought I would wait, of course, but then everything happened with my friend... I don't know if I should forget about him - I don't know if he's just playing with girls after what he said? I don't want to loose what I have with my girlfriend for it to be just a one night stand - and stay with my girlfriend even thought our relationship doesn't feel like one, or if I should break up with her and try to go out with my friend? Even knowing that would hurt my girlfriend if I break up with her? I now it's not the end of the world, it is just some teenager love after all, but I feel very lost and I don't want to hurt them - or myself.
Once again, I am so sorry for the rant. I don't expect a divine answer, of course, but I really need another point of view and some advice...
Hi Joanna, thank you for contacting TWE.
It sounds like you really love your girlfriend, so could you have a talk with her about having more contact, e.g. kissing and holding hands, when her family isn't around. This way it would make her understand that having contact is important for you. Having this talk with her may also prevent the loss of feelings, as you will be able to talk about it as a couple.
If she still has a problem with this, she needs to understand why it is an issue for you.
I also think having a discussion with the other boy could be beneficial. Make him aware of the issue between the other girls, as it is important for you. You may not like him romantically, but if anything were to happen in the future you would need to know the situation regarding other girls in his life.
Well I'm lesbian and I just got a girlfriend and she is so much prettier than me and more popular we both love each other and I know it isn't all about looks but I genuinely AM ugly and she is gorgeous. I have good skin with no spots or freckles, nice eyes but really horrible eyebrows and the thinnest lips ever but I'm allergic to EVERY type of makeup I've tried and I just want to look at least decent I know this sound kind of pointless but me and my girlfriend both self harm people know that she does but no one know about me and I have severe anxiety especially over my looks please help if you can what do I do if I'm way too ugly compared to her - Harriet
Hi Harriet! It is normal to feel like this especially in a relationship with someone, it is easy to think that you're not good enough for them. You need to remember that there is a reason she is your girlfriend, and she might even feel similar to this about you! Try talking to her about this, and you can both help each other. You don't need makeup to look nice, you may have heard this many times before but it is true. You could talk to a doctor about your allergies and they may be able to recommend some makeup that you can wear and is safe for your skin. Good luck and if you need any more help please ask! -Ella
How to heal from a 10 year relationship broken heart
Hey there! Broken hearts are definitely awful and I’m so sorry about that.
The ways I deal with broken hearts can seem strange to some but they work.
1. Try to invest your time into things you enjoy like hanging out with friends or watching TV shows (I watched 6 seasons of supernatural in a month cause I was sad)
2. Treat yourself! It’s okay to have things like candy and chips and stuff when your upset even when you’re on a diet!
3. Try new drink mixtures. Honestly it’s never the most tasty but it get a your mind off the sadness, just make sure to be safe and don’t mix milk and orange juice. Worst mistake ever
I hope these help out. Just remember it takes time!
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Hi, I'm trying to figure out if I should remain friends with a girl I know.... everyone says yes, and I just don't like her because if her depression. But that's not true, I just don't like her personality. But apparently I'm her rock and we used to be best friends for 2 years. But when I look at her all I get is angry, and I feel the hatred building up. And I don't know what to do. Should I keep being in an uncomfortable relationship to make her happy, or should I end it and make myself happy?
Sounds like a toxic relationship. If you're sure that you don't get on with her personality (and not just her mental illness) then you need to remove yourself from the situation. Ending a toxic relationship is incredibly difficult and of course, it needs to be done sensitively since she is already struggling and seems to rely on you a lot. However, you need to make sure you are not her sole confidant and she has help from others or other support systems (even if you were going to stay friends this is vital!!!). Then, just chat to her. Explain why and what's happened that's led you to this decision and then, go.
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HELP I LIKE SOMEONE WHO THINKS I'M A LESBIAN WHAT DO I DO
Okay, firstly the best thing to do about it is stay calm. Don't let yourself worry too much - get close to them. Perhaps you could drop some hints to the fact that you aren't a lesbian? The best way is to find how you can express your sexuality comfortably to let him know your sexuality first. After that, then you are free to build a relationship with him and let him know you like him!
Good luck and best wishes,
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Okay, so basically last year I was in a very abusive relationship with a guy one year older than me. I'll call him T. How was he abusive? He always made me feel like I wasn't worth anything. He isolated me from my friends. And he forced me to do sexual things with him at school.
We broke up so many times, but 2 months ago, we finally broke up for real. But even though now I don't have to deal with the abuse anymore ((i have a new boyfriend)), I actually got PTSD from the relationship, which sucks because I already have depression and anxiety.. I have constant flashbacks that cause me to have anxiety attacks/freak out at random times. I'm scared of him.. I see him every day in the halls, and I always feel like he's going to approach me.
I told my counselor, but she told me I was just overreacting..
Any advice on what I should do?
First things first, you are not over reacting, and congratulations on getting yourself out of that situation. You deserve better than him.
That situation sounds so difficult. Personally I have also been through abuse and I know how it feels to go through flashback. My first main advice is to speak out about the flashbacks to people as you cannot deal with them just by yourself! Do you have a doctor you can visit? I really do think that may give you a massive help. If you'd like to talk about it any further feel free to message me on Facebook and I am always here.
If he approaches you, keep your cool. You're over him, correct? He doesn't deserve your fear or your tears. Talk calmly, stay collected, and try to have a friend there to back you up. If you look like you're over him and are finally confident, it'll happen in reality and he'll leave you alone. Headphones are also a good idea, if you don't want to talk to him.
Also Allie- it may be worth reporting that he forced you. It is not okay to do that and it may be beneficial making a statement to the police about it
I hope some of this helped, remember that you deserve the best and you have worth. Stay safe
Caitlyn and Kira
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So I've had a girlfriend for two months and it's my first real relationship. I'm 15 and I've never kissed anyone before. Well I'm staying at my friends tonight for her birthday and my gf (let's call her Hannah Montana) she is staying tonight as well. And when we stay at my friends we usually just share beds since she has a bunk but now it's different because we are dating and I have this feeling deep down we might kiss because there's been those little times when if one of us moves we would've. I'm really nervous about this because i don't know how to kiss and Hannah Montana is as inexperienced as me ugh it's really confusing but i hope you understand.
If there's any advice please help before tonight thank you
I'm Sophia. And yes, your first kiss can be scary. However, I'm telling you- it WILL be ok. Now, likely, you two may share a bed. If you do, fret not. Just breathe and relax. Just talk to her, and if the moment is right, go for it. However, if you're scared, just talk to her about how you feel. I'm sure she'll understand. She may even feel the same way! May good luck and good vibes be sent your way- and remember- be yourself
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I'm 18 and I feel sad and awkward because I never had a boyfriend, and I don't know why do I make a big deal out of this!
Hello there, I am Sophia!
I am 17, and I used to feel the same way. So, here's my advice: your being is so much more than having a man by your side. Men at this age are immature, so if they haven't noticed you, it isn't your fault. You're an amazing person; I can tell by the way you were comfortable enough to reach out for help. So if I were you, I'd give the boys time to mature. However, if you're considering a relationship, remember that relationships are a give and take. You need to put as much of yourself out there as you can while maintaining your current lifestyle. Relationships are sacrifice, so make sure you are ready for that sort of commitment. If you are, look for someone who appreciates you for everything you are AND aren't. Try starting as friends, and slowly work your way into a trusting relationship. Remember you are never forced to stay with someone: if they insult you, leave. Be who you are, and you will find someone right for you eventually. Stay strong!
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