Hi! It's probably going to be very long, I'm so sorry about that, I just really don't know who to talk to right now...
So I am bisexual and I've been in a 'relationship' with a girl for four months now - it is my first relationship. The reason I put quotation marks here is because she's not out to her family yet, so her parents don't know about us. She is also really shy and never acts like a girlfriend when we see each other. Like, she avoids contact, and I once asked if I could kiss her and she panicked and said no. Long story short, it doesn't feel like a relationship to me. I mean I do have a lot of affection for her, but I really feel like loosing my time here, like if we weren't together.
Meanwhile, a good friend of mine - a boy this time - recently made me understand that he loved me. I never felt that way about him, but now that I think about it, I'm confused about my feelings for him. We saw each other yesterday with our families and he said he'd kissed three girls during the summer. It made me a little angry because he apparently still talks with one of them like lovers, but he still asked me out? However, I probably don't have the right to be annoyed, after all I friendzoned him...
So the thing is, I don't know what to do now. I am not sure about my feelings for my girlfriend anymore. I understand how hard it is for her to come out and be more demonstrative, but I'm tired of hiding. At first I thought I would wait, of course, but then everything happened with my friend... I don't know if I should forget about him - I don't know if he's just playing with girls after what he said? I don't want to loose what I have with my girlfriend for it to be just a one night stand - and stay with my girlfriend even thought our relationship doesn't feel like one, or if I should break up with her and try to go out with my friend? Even knowing that would hurt my girlfriend if I break up with her? I now it's not the end of the world, it is just some teenager love after all, but I feel very lost and I don't want to hurt them - or myself.
Once again, I am so sorry for the rant. I don't expect a divine answer, of course, but I really need another point of view and some advice...
Hi Joanna, thank you for contacting TWE.
It sounds like you really love your girlfriend, so could you have a talk with her about having more contact, e.g. kissing and holding hands, when her family isn't around. This way it would make her understand that having contact is important for you. Having this talk with her may also prevent the loss of feelings, as you will be able to talk about it as a couple.
If she still has a problem with this, she needs to understand why it is an issue for you.
I also think having a discussion with the other boy could be beneficial. Make him aware of the issue between the other girls, as it is important for you. You may not like him romantically, but if anything were to happen in the future you would need to know the situation regarding other girls in his life.
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