Looking for a new skill to try or something to fill your free time? A highly recommended activity for one person if you are in high school or university (if your school has one) is to join the speech and debate team. Speech and Debate (better known officially as forensics) is “an academic activity typically available to students in middle school, high school, and/or college. Similar to athletic sports, speech and debate activities are challenging, competitive in nature, and require regular practice, coaching, dedication, and hard work” according to the National Speech and Debate Association. This same organisation defines speech events as “a presentation by one or two, or sometimes a group of students that is judged against a similar type of presentation by others in a round of competition; ranging from limited preparation events that require extensive knowledge of current events to dramatic/humorous interpretations of powerful moments in literature and recreate them” and debate events as “an individual or a team of debaters working to effectively convince a judge that their side of a resolution is more valid.
Students in debate come to thoroughly understand both sides of the resolution, having researched each extensively, and learn to think critically about every argument that could be made on each side”. Being in speech and debate forces young people to develop public speaking and critical thinking and listening skills, which are two of the most important skills for any path one choses in life, and apply those skills in daily life. Not only that, but participating in an activity such as forensics has been shown to enhance a student’s confidence and creativity. Also, mentioning that the program looks stellar on applications to university. I personally advocate for the program because I, myself, am a debater. I am currently entering my 3rd year of the program as it is my 3rd year of high school and I cannot honestly imagine where I would be without the program. When I was younger, I never felt particularly brave with my opinions on things that were important. I often felt like I had nothing important to say and that by speaking up, I would just be wasting everyone’s time. Forensics changed that in me by teaching me what I did or did not say mattered; that my voice had an impact on the world and people around me. The program trained me to be asserting- using the profound and expansive vocabulary I already possessed to make a difference. My coaches and student mentors taught me to face down my low self-esteem and take pride in my beliefs. But more than anything else, Forensics offered me a community of like-minded people that I might not have met otherwise. Overall, forensics is an opportunity that can change anyone’s life. If they chose to pursue it, forensics will mark the beginning of when learned how to find a voice… their voice
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Having depression can make life hard. Those days where you are unmotivated and painfully numb on the inside yet you have so much left to do are the worst days. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), 350 million individuals worldwide suffer from depression. Just imagine this: 350 million people, that may or may not include you, all going through the motions of life and struggling. For some, depression can be debilitating to the point where even the simplest tasks like getting out of bed in the morning is an emotional challenge. Life is a balancing act and the last thing anyone needs is their depression throwing everything off kilter.
There are times where I feel this way. Either I'm hyper emotional or numb going through the motions of my life when the depression decides to remind me of it's constant dwelling inside me. Being on either side of the emotional spectrum is a challenge when you are trying to, and enjoy getting your work done. The depression robs me of the motivation or the satisfaction of doing my work, which makes it harder for me to see a reason to do work during the period of time where the disorder is at its peak. I don't like to use my depression as a justification for quitting anything or giving up. My advice may seem contradictory, but I promise that it will make sense. For those of you like me who are determined to keep on going and fighting; then do just that. Don't let your depression keep you from doing what you love most. For those who feel beat down by your depression and rather not keep fighting it, that is perfectly okay. Some people need a break and you are justified in getting one for you. This doesn't make you weaker than anyone else; it just means that you handle your emotions in a different way. You can take that break and come back even stronger than before. Whatever works best for you is the best way because only you know you. Life is a challenging thing, we all get this. Then there are those of us who have depression (or another mental disorder) and the fight becomes that much harder. But remembering to follow whatever will maintain the balance is the best way to minimize however badly things turn. Cassandra Diviak Too often I come across people, complaining about a long and sleepless night, complete with dark circles under their eyes. Many of people’s sleepless nights are caused by a condition known as insomnia.
Insomnia is habitual sleeplessness; difficulty falling and/or staying asleep. According to the United States Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, more than one-quarter of people report occasionally not getting enough sleep. However, following the criteria presented in the psychiatric textbook the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), only 6 percent of people fit the criteria of insomnia. Some of the causes of insomnia are anxiety, depression, medication, medical conditions (such as asthma, hyperthyroidism, lower back pain, etc.), lifestyle, irregularities in sleep schedules, and many more. The wide variety of causes can lead to disastrous results for those suffering from either short-term or long-term bouts of insomnia or insomniac behavior. A 2010 review by University of Rochester researchers found that people who persistently get less sleep are more likely to be in traffic accidents, have higher rates of missed work days, are less satisfied with their jobs and are more likely to get easily irritated. Especially with teenagers, effects of little to no sleep can impact their ability to function in environments like school It also points out that insomnia is not only caused by mental disorders or medical conditions; but the condition of sleeplessness can even worsen these mental and medical conditions. My personal experience with insomnia stems from my battle with depression and anxiety throughout periods of my life. During the more severe periods of depression or my occasional anxiety attacks, I often found myself unable to close my eyes and sleep without serious difficulty. It would take me several hours to drift off into a tumultuous, fitful sleep where I would end up feeling even more exhausted the next morning. Not to mention, all the times I would wake up in the middle of the night, feeling disoriented and having no idea why I continued to wake up. Now, my advice is herbal remedies or homemade tricks that will make the ability to sleep easier than it was before. Herbal remedies like melatonin supplements are healthy choices that don’t cost as much as sleep medication with not too drastic changes to the brain’s hormonal and chemical balance; but it still possesses certain side effects, so I would proceed with caution as if it was medication. Another piece of advice creating a lavender-scented satchel because lavender is known to be a calming scent, drinking chamomile tea since it has a similar effect as lavender, or play nature sounds/music as you’re trying to fall asleep because some people require slight noise while other people need total silence to fall asleep. However, if home remedies don’t do the trick, then I would advise you talk to a health professional about the possibility of medication for sleep. Sleep is an essential component to life and how we function. You won’t be doing yourself any good, while running on little sleep or exhaustion. But with these methods, you won’t have to worry about anymore sleepless or restless nights. Instead, you will be enjoying a good night’s rest that’ll prepare you for success. Finals week, or better known to students, “hell week” is approaching with the last few weeks of school ending. During this trying time, full of studying for exams or projects and wishing you could rip your hair out, it is easy for stress to catch up and overwhelm you. A small amount of stress can be beneficial but copious amounts aren’t at all. Chronic stress related to school can lead to physical illnesses or susceptibility to these illnesses, depression, anxiety, insomnia, suicidal thoughts, lower grade performances… a whole slew of problems that no one needs in their lives. Per a national survey conducted by Georgetown University, at least 30 percent of college students say that stress has affected their academic performances on their final exams. This statistic doesn’t account for high school students, especially since high school exams have a decent impact on grades and one student’s ability to get into a college. Grades are everything nowadays and people are sacrificing taking care of themselves to keep ahead of the learning curve.
As a high school student, I experience exams stress firsthand and daily. There was once a point that I had become so wound up by my grades, that if I didn’t do well on my midterms or finals, I would have an emotional reaction with some physical symptoms of sickness. I am currently attending a school that ranks in the top 5 schools for academics across my entire state; so, the pressure to outperform those results is intense. There are occurrences where I will see a student break down over a particularly low test grade, crash and burn right before finals, or physically harm themselves through neglecting their needs so that they can keep their grades in tip-top shape. Seeing a student in tears, cracking under the pressure of school, isn’t an uncommon sight. These students have so much stress riding on them from the school reputation or their teachers or their families or their ambitions… whatever their stressors may be. People, myself included, get so wrapped up in the nuances of academic perfection that we forget what it’s like to truly take care of ourselves. We come with unkempt hair and the same pair of sweats we’ve worn for the last 3 days. That is the definition of “hot mess”. People believe that focusing all your attention onto studying will guarantee success. However, that is a far cry from the truth. My advice is to balance out intense periods of studying with time for you to relax or to take care of yourself; because making yourself sick over a test isn’t worth worsening your performance. For the studying aspect, I would recommend creating a detailed calendar of your schedule in the weeks before and during finals. There you can break down and allot the necessary time to each activity. I would also recommend asking your teachers/professors about the material that will show up on the final during any available time they may have. Another suggestion would be to have detailed notes on subject material. I personally recommend the Cornell note taking style as an AVID student, but any way will work, so long as you can learn with it. This prevents last minute cramming sessions and unnecessary stress related to studying. The second part is the relaxing part. Instead of burning yourself out from work, take a needed break. Activities like listening to music, exercise, and hanging out with friends are all great ideas that will give you the necessary fresh air you need after studying. School can be challenging. By the end of the year, everyone is burned out and ready for summer to begin. However, pushing yourself and neglecting your health during finals is the worse thing for you to do. Keep healthy and prepared to finish the final stretch of school! School is just around the corner, and for some of us, it's time to start thinking about our future. College... Jobs... Social circles... There's plenty to think about and some things take priority over others. However, there's an obvious yet sometimes overlooked skill that will help you lessen the burdens you might find on your shoulders because of those priorities: confidence.
An article from Forbes, titled "Confidence Breeds Success -- And It Can Be Taught" speaks about the need for confidence as a key ingredient for success in all aspects of life, especially the workplace/school environment. Despite the focus of the article specifically targeting women in the tech start-up industry; this notion is applicable to anyone in the setting of a professional interview or an application for something of great importance. There is no substitute for knowledge of the subject(s) that may be discussed in the duration of the interview, but more often than not, employers will chose a less knowledgeable yet confident candidate over an extremely informed yet nervous/shy candidate for the same position, regardless of whether the second person is equally/more qualified than the first individual. This has to do with interpersonal workplace dynamics and a confident individual has more of an edge in social matters and considerations for promotions. I am in a 4-year program at my high school called AVID (Advancement Via Individual Determination), where you have to register in 8th grade in order to participate in the program. I wasn't even supposed to know about AVID because my grades didn't fit into their target range, but my councilor let me witness the program and I decided to sign-up. There were two parts to the application process: letter/questionnaire and one-on-one interview with the head of the program. I was utterly terrified at the prospect of an interview because part of me felt like I didn't belong in the program, but I had made it thus far. The moment I was due for my interview I decided to go into the session as confidently as possible, because I knew that they didn't need to know that I was nervous. That plan ended up a major success as I was accepted into the program as one of the first candidates. These are some of the tips to portray confidence, even if you are everything except confident: - Eye Contact: I cannot stress this point enough. Eye contact is a crucial element in displaying confidence. When people make eye contact, they will feel the full impact of whatever your saying as opposed to when you don't make eye contact. Eyes have been described as windows to the soul and this statement rings true. With eye contact you will appear confident and others will be left in awe. - Refrain from "umms', "likes", "maybes", etc.: Stay away from certain words like umm, like, maybe, and others because they show a hesitation in your ideas and thoughts. Don't be afraid of the silence that may occur organically; use it to your advantage. Formulate what you want to say before you say it; this'll keep you away from the aforementioned words (like, umm, maybe, etc.) and you appear intelligent and confident to anyone in the interview. - Posture: Posture is everything. A confident person's posture is upright (no slouches), relaxed (not too stiff), and exudes authority. Slouching signifies a lack of interest, not the best message to send to a potential employer or an admission officer. Being too stiff would make you seem uncomfortable and like you don't want to be there. Exuding authority gives the indication that you are a competent individual who knows what they're doing. - Keep your hands visible and still: Fidgeting and shoving your hands somewhere hidden (e.g. your pockets) is a big no-no. Fidgeting is a tell-tale sign of anxiety and hiding your hands could be construed as disrespectful by some people. Keep your hands in a position to where they are still visible to whomever your talking to. If you feel the need to move your hands, use some moments to gesture and emphasis certain points. - Cassandra Getting your period is never a pleasant experience for anyone. But dealing with one’s menstrual cycle can be especially difficult with a full and busy schedule. When school and work gets in the way of dealing with girl issues, many women learn to be prepared for the worst-case scenario. However, there are always situations and curveballs that preparation cannot cover that are caused by stress, like irregularities or heavier bleeding flow or several various issues that may arise for a variety of factors. Per an article from Women’s Health Magazine, entitled Fascinating Facts About Your Period, that stress can seriously throw off your menstrual cycle.
You could skip your period entirely for months on end or the vice versa, of having longer and more painful period cycles, is also applicable to stress’ influence. Stress tends to be the catalyst for a large percentage of menstrual-related problems; such as irregular starts in the schedule or skipping entirely. Not to mention, that some people’s periods are objectively worse than others. You have people with cramps and people without, some girls with crazy mood swings, girls with either an insatiable or non-existent appetite; the list could go on for miles about variations. But many people have heard horror stories about unexpected menstrual woes, which only serve as a stressing point. But being prepared, even for what seems to be unpreparable, is the key to surviving. My experience with periods is, well for a lack of a better word: vast. I first got mine around 5th or 6th grade, which where I live is pretty early by average standards. For the longest time I was unable to really record when my menstrual cycle would begin/end because it seemed to be changed by every month or not even show up for the longest time. During those few years (around the 5th to 7th grade mark), I was under large amounts of duress because that was when my depression was at its worst and stress was the only constant in my life. So, my cycle was all over the place. Sometimes, it would last 3 days and be mostly painless. Other times, I would suffer a week-long cycle with pain where I would refuse to get out of bed some mornings. It also was extremely hard for me with harsh mood swings, the increase or decrease in desire to eat, cramps, dizzy spells, and headaches (the last two were because I was borderline anemic). Luckily as the years progressed, I was able to figure out a system that would prepare me for the ultimate worst-case situation and even, the “unpreparable”. Now my advice is pretty length and in-depth. I first want to start with what I like to call a “girl time” emergency kit. This kit includes some of the following items: pads, tampons, extra underwear, extra pants/skirts, some pain alleviators, sanitary wipes, heating pad strips, and maybe some comfort snacks. Having these items handy in bulk and in your backpack or work bag will be a lifesaver for you and maybe someone else that might need them. If you’re in a situation where you know that you’re going to be unable to go to the restroom for a while, my suggestion would be to use either a tampon or a thick, ‘overnight’ pad, because it will make sure you are covered for a decent amount of time. I would advise using the overnight pads over tampons for a period of time over 4 hours because tampons can cause toxic shock syndrome (which can be fatal in some cases). Also worth mentioning that: there is always going to be stress in a school/work environment, so it is practically impossible to not have any stress-related interference. But there is the option of controlling your period by going on birth control. I don’t advise taking that pathway before speaking with your doctor and parents (for those of you younger girls) about if that way is the right way for you, out of potential worry for side effects. Getting one’s period is a draining experience to have every month. It can place a strain on any girl with a busy schedule. But it isn’t completely impossible to make some of the issues less of issues. With my advice, any girl can tackle any unexpected period problems. Stereotypes of a family unit leave out the biggest change on the playing field, which is divorce.
Despite the rates of divorce have hit an all-time low in the last 40 years in 2016, marriages still have a 50% percent chance of failure. Divorce is an issue that can negatively impact not only the couple separating, but any co-dependents (children) they may have also find themselves caught in the fray. The type of divorce is also an important factor; whether it is an amicable split or a contentious one. If a child is caught in the middle of a contentious divorce, they are more susceptible to stress and mental disorders such as anxiety and depression. There will be some people who use this one event as a crutch or an excuse for their bad behavior and acting out; but that doesn’t always have to be the case. Blaming a divorce for all your problems isn’t the answer and being a “product of divorce” like you are unable to change your nature is a frame of mind that you can grow out of. I am a child of divorce. My parents separated when I was only six years of age and I was the oldest of my siblings, therefore I had major sector of responsibility thrust upon me. No longer was I able to enjoy a carefree childhood since I was forced to grow up beyond my age; I became like an adult in nature and learning to be independent of my parents was a daily struggle. The struggle that went down between my parents was a vicious and contentious one that occasionally has small bouts that burst up every now and then. Even a decade after the split, the demons still rear their head. Most of my life, I have been caught in a maelstrom of emotional abuse, parental alienation, lies, manipulation, and much more by the hand of one of my parents. Because of the divorce I am well beyond my ripe age of 16 mentally, but I suffer from depression and a cynical mindset in the regards to relationships and love. However, I never use my parents’ divorce as an excuse to act a certain way or garner sympathy. Even when I was stressed out beyond belief or severely depressed as a kid, I never allowed myself to excuse any bad behavior with the divorce. My story isn’t unique; there are thousands of kids just like me out there and many of them desperately need outlets to channel their angst over the divorce through. My advice comes in a few solutions: therapy/seeking help, creative outlets, and embracing the validity of your feelings. To this day, I am in therapy and my parents divorcing and the effects of their divorce are one of the main topics of discussion. Opening up about the divorce and your feelings truly helps to resolve some of the issues you may encounter; someone impartial and separate from the whole dilemma can seriously help you sort out the jumbled puzzle pieces that may be your life. Another thing a therapist can be helpful with is helping you better understand your feelings and validating them if they are warranted. Finally, finding creative and positive outlets to channel any negative emotions into is my top suggestion. I do kickboxing, speech and debate, creative writing, and the Civil Air Patrol for that very reason. You shouldn’t let your emotions be pent up and provoke you into lashing out. Find a better way instead. Like I said before, divorce is very common. At any given time there are at least a few hundred people going through what you are. But you have to remember that you are not defined by the event that may shape your life. The ‘product of divorce’ mentality can easily be changed through acknowledgement that you are nit defined by the choices made by your parents. One of the most devastating losses a person can go through is the loss of a once close friend. The notion of ‘best friends’ implies a lifelong bond with someone who knows your deepest secrets and dreams. Lovers come and go, but friends are supposed to be ‘forever’. The concept of ‘forever’ can be dogged by the same circumstances that end other types of relationships, whether it be an explosive fallout or a mutual, peaceful drift apart. Regardless, the end result is the same- the loss of someone once close to you. Experts compare the ending of a friendship as more devastating than the breaking up of a couple.
I will not mention his name here, but he was once my best friend. We met in Kindergarten and we became friends when I fought off the school bully on the playground. We were joined at the hip and spent everyday together. He was the protective brother that I never had. He was the person who was there for me through my parents’ messy divorce and all the things that came in between. As a kid and teen, I always dreamed that we would be lifelong friends. I even imagined that he would give me away at my wedding. Unfortunately, those dreams were dashed when we entered high school. It was then that I witnessed his transformation from a “sweet” young man into a manipulative monster who was capable of horrible things. He was unbothered by his ability to make his best friend cry and stab her in the back for a girl he just met. I watched helplessly as he withered away, and an unrecognizable monster took his place. It was only after a blowout fight between him and I, where he called me a “whore” among other slurs for liking someone in a relationship, did I realize the truth. That I spent a decade of my life putting him up on a pedestal and never realizing the signs of an abusive, toxic friendship. I was the unwitting victim of his abuse and manipulation for years. I would let him walk all over me and apologize when I wasn’t wrong in fear. Everything I did was to please him and keep from losing the only person who seemingly was ‘there’ for me. In actuality, I enabled the abusive tendencies by submitting. So, I did the only thing that would save my sanity- I severed all ties with him. It was painful for a moment, but the relief that followed was worth it all. To this day, we no longer speak, and I am better for it. There is not a ‘one size fits all’ solution to coping with the loss of a friend. That being said, I share my process in the hopes that someone can find solace in wake of their loss of a friend. -Acknowledge all the emotions involved with the split. Whether that means crying or releasing anger in a healthy outlet, dealing with any emotions that resulted from the ending of the friendship is one of the most important steps. Emotions, when suppressed, can be dangerous to a person’s emotional stability. Therefore, it is imperative that all positive and negative emotions be processed and dealt with in regard to the situation. -Avoid involving your friends in whatever drama there may be attached to the loss. I refer to this as the ‘Sweden Policy’ and mutual friends are Sweden- to be used in the instance of a fallout between you and a former friend. By involving friends in drama that they don’t belong in, you are putting them in an uncomfortable position of choosing sides and can cause resentment within the group. Your mutual friends will appreciate being clued in to what the situation is, but not if they are forced to take a side. - Move on and don’t act out in spite or revenge. It may sting when your ex-best friend is seen hanging out with someone else the same way they used to with you but acting out in revenge will only hurt you in the long run. Instead, focus on your happiness and the parts of your life that bring you joy. Hanging on to envy will only make you miserable on top of an already difficult situation to go through. Studies have shown that friendships can increase our happiness and longevity. We yearn to attain friendships that stand the test of time and last our entire lives. But sometimes, life has other plans and that’s okay. Losing a best friend may hurt, but it is a normal experience everyone will undergo at some point. Cass “What do you want to be when you grow up?” Who, as a young kid, heard this question posed to them by their teachers? Practically everyone has. But when people transition from being young children to teenagers in high school, people’s expectations of a person then begin to impose on their visions and dreams for the future. Parents become more controlling and the school system seems intent on molding students into brainwashed citizens; sapping the creativity and the ambition to chase after unorthodox dreams from their young minds. For example, let’s say there’s a young girl that wants to be an author but her parents want her to be a doctor and go to medical school; so they force her to follow their wishes with fear tactics and completely disregard what their daughter wants for herself. This leaves the girl miserable and crumbling under the pressure of what he parents want for her. How parents do this: by forcing their child into rigorous school courses, extracurricular activities that the student may or may not have any interest in, excessive scheduling to keep them busy and make them more appealing to colleges. “School, homework, extracurricular activities, sleep, repeat—that’s what it can be for some of these students,” says Noelle Leonard, PhD, a senior research scientist at the New York University College of Nursing (NYUCN). But this is doing more harm than good for the students. Parents having unrealistic expectations for their children are not preparing their children to succeed in life.
My personal experience with absurdly high expectations is boundless. I am a straight A student with several extracurricular activities that I engage in outside of school. People who don’t know me that well would use “smart” as the first adjective to describe my personality. Strangers, my teachers, and people I know all expect me to be some genius student who is superhumanly smart and doesn’t make mistakes because of my grades. What they don’t see is the anxiety that their unrealistic expectations force on me. I don’t like to fail or let people down and expectations cause me stress when I try to become what people expect of me. When I was younger, it was my parents the most. They wanted me to become a doctor but they expected me to attend an Ivy League College with my intelligence. The focus rapidly went from it being about what I wanted to do or where I wanted to go to what other people (ei: my parents) thought would be best for me. Turns out that their idea about what was best wasn’t actually the best option. I, around the time of middle school, discovered my deep rooted passion for law and justice and that forced me to a crossroads. I had to either follow what people expected of me or go out on a limb by standing up for myself and pursue whatever made me happiest. My resolve was steel and I ended up doing the later; which turned in my favor later on. But I had to take the risk of showing people that I wasn’t going to fit in their box of expectations. My advice comes in two main points: honesty and confidence. In order to show people that their expectations are bogging you down, it would be a good reminder to them that you are human and mistakes are bound to happen. Having open and honest dialogue about unrealistic expectations is a fast and efficient way to halt stress and anxiety over trying to twist yourself into shapes to please. Show people that you are vulnerable to stress from expectations and most people will listen to what you have to say. Sometimes we forget that those around us are actually people and by projecting our unrealistically high expectations of them onto them, we are essentially placing them on a pedestal and submerging them in unwanted anxiety. Secondly, there is a confidence deficit that has to be addressed before anything else. Standing up to people and their thoughts requires sure footing and unwavering confidence. If you aren’t confident in yourself or confident enough to address unrealistic expectations of other people; then nothing will be done. I know that thinking about it can be terrifying, but it is worth it. In hindsight, you will be glad you spoke up and reminded people who is in charge of their destiny and what you can and cannot do. Expectations are all part of life and it is human to expect things of others. But sometimes we take it too far with other people when we forget that they are human: prone to mistakes and have emotions and their own wishes. We need to find a balanced middle ground where we can have expectations about other people that are grounded in the reality but will pose a necessary challenge. Positive thinking, alone, cannot cure depression, despite what many people seem to believe. A mindset that having “happy thoughts” is an instantaneous cure to depression is not only and oversimplification and normalization of the condition; but serves to further agitate the depressed individual. Cognitive treatment is a legitimate part-time treatment, but people with depression don’t have the same control over their mindset as most people do. The DSM-5 lists a symptom of depression is that depression causes people to lose pleasure from daily life. When individuals lose interest in their daily lives or things they would typically enjoy, the depression completely takes over. When the depression clouds people’s thoughts and alters their moods, there is very little that a person can do to improve their condition. Pleasant thoughts aren’t going suddenly change all of that like a magic spell. Besides, a depressed individual should gain control over their mindset (which is hard to do) before they can seek out cognitive treatment and treatment to be an effective solution (in conjunction with other treatment options).
My experience with this situation is very common, which is why I get very worked up when someone decides to tell me “think happy thoughts” or some other variation of the same shtick. I, will often have days where I am down in a depressed funk. I lose all interest in just about everything and feel unexplainably down in the dumps. In these moods, I don’t have the same control over my mental state like when I am not suffering because of my depression. This state of mind doesn’t go away if I imagine happy thoughts of puppies or rainbows or the other cliché examples people recommend to me. These “positive affirmations” only serve to make me feel like I am being rushed to find a ‘cure’ to my problem and that I am lacking in knowledge about my own condition. I often must hold myself back from angrily lashing out at people that my depression isn’t going to be cured by thinking happy thoughts and that depression isn’t like just being sad. Frequently, people’s limited and misinformed knowledge about depression and the fact that many people can mix up feeling sad with actual diagnosable depression are the leading causes behind the common utterance of happy thoughts. Now, I am not dismissing cognitive treatment. In fact, I encourage people to seek out treatment options; but I warn you not to expect instantaneous results. Now, my advice on this issue is relatively simple: take things at your own pace and be understanding. Don’t feel rushed into finding a solution to “cure” your depression because these things take time. It would be more beneficial to you and those around you if you took your time but found a method that worked for you rather than taking the quickest way out and having to redo everything over and over. I personally know how hard it is to be understanding when people are lacking in crucial knowledge yet they think they know better than you about your condition. But patience is key here. Instead of lashing out, I would suggest trying to inform individuals patiently and calmly about your struggle. If it works, then great. If it doesn’t, just know you tried and pay their insistent misinformation no mind since you are the one that knows yourself best. In the end, depression is a tough situation to be in and it’s okay that people want to help in whatever way they can. But a line should be drawn when that “help” doesn’t help and makes the depressed individual feel misunderstood. But don’t feel bad about telling people that they might be misinformed. People sometimes have to learn about the things they’re getting wrong. One of those things is that depression cannot be cured by happy thoughts. |