From a young age I noticed my body was not like the one’s I saw. I looked up at the ads for stores in the Mall. The skinny, toned, hair perfect, tall, fit, beautifully airbrushed photoshopped models that defined me and my body from as early as 9. I would look at my sporty peers, the ones who had perfectly flat stomachs and the long blonde highlighted hair I always wanted and craved. Or the spunky classmate who had the cool pink hair and snapback looking like what I thought was so cool and hip. And I looked down at my own self. Chubby, hair tangled, and what I thought was not good enough.
This is the story, of me vs. my body.
From a young age I looked on to the world.
I saw what the media wanted me to see.
Only I was so young I didn’t know what they were trying to sell me crap I could not afford.
When I was in 6th grade and my “friends” peer pressured into shaving my legs, taking away my freedom of choice because I thought I had no choice. I remember wanting to look beautiful. I modified my body in dramatic ways to try and fit the description of the word that will haunt me for the rest of my life
I didn’t even know the true meaning of the word was.
I dyed my hair, shaved every corner of my body, plucked my eyebrows, and for what? Trying to look like something I wasn’t. I starved myself, forcing myself not to eat. With the little voice in my head of
“If you don’t eat, you will finally be beautiful”.
I wish I had known, I would have not wasted long long hours crying myself to sleep over something I could have fix. I wish I had known the definition of perfect was not what I thought. To this day I still have that voice in my head. I still struggle with my body issues, I still sometimes curse the world for giving me this body. But along the way I learned some things.
1. If you look in the mirror too long I promise you will terror your self apart finding imperfections. I promise, you look better then you see with your own eyes because you know your self better then anyone.
2. You don’t have to look perfect everyday.
3. Makeup, fashion, shaved, unshaved, whatever makes you happy and what makes you feel amazing, go for it. Just keep your hygiene up (because, reasons).
4. You only have one body. Cherish it.
Before I stop writing, I wanna go back to what I said earlier about the word “Perfection”.
To me, personally, there is no such thing as perfection.
We are all beautifully flawed human beings and if the world was filled with what people call “perfect”, then we would just tear ourselves apart to look better then even that. Embrace your imperfections, because without them, you would not be you. I know it’s hard, but I believe that someday you will be happy with the body you are giving. At least I hope so.
You are beautiful, and you better not forget that.
(This article is based on my experiences with body issues. All experiences and opinions are my own).