​There's a lot of terms being thrown around these days linked with sexuality, and at first it may be very puzzling to anyone – whether you're somebody investigating what they may identify as, or a straight ally trying to educate themselves. A common question I've come across from most people is the difference between sexual attraction and romantic attraction.

It's a very simple definition with a more complex explanation. To experience sexual attraction is to feel an attraction to a person/s with sexual feelings and perhaps a desire to have sexual relationships with them. This creates the difference with romantic attraction. Romantic attraction is experiencing romantic feelings towards a person/s and perhaps a desire to have a romantic relationship with them. It is possible to experience both of these attractions, or only one of them. When it comes to displaying this, romantic acts usually involve kissing and cuddling (romantic, almost “cute” or “tame” acts) whilst sexual involves – you guessed it, sex!

The way this ties into people's sexuality is the way they do (or do not) experience the two attractions. For example, a male could be a biromantic homosexual: they experience romantic attraction to two genders (it could be male and female, or perhaps a different gender! Remember “bi” involves two genders, not just limited to males and females!) but only experiences sexual attraction to his gender  only. Another example is that a woman may be homoromantic homosexual – experiencing sexual and romantic attraction to her gender only. Others may even not experience romantic or sexual attraction at all! This is known as aromatic and asexual.

Hopefully this explains well enough the difference. Don't be shy to ask if you still have questions! You can ask here on the website or at any of our social medias.

~ Hollie

Long-Distance Relationships

As Valentines Day approaches, there are many of people who are lucky to be celebrating with a special someone/s and others who are single this year. But a new problem arising within the current generation of people is those in long-distance relationships. These are people who are dating others who may live in another town, across the country or even across the world. Valentines Day is tough for them, because physical contact is impossible meaning text and video calls is their only source of contact. But there are ways to still have a Valentine date for those in this position!

When I was dating my girlfriend who lived almost on the other side of my country, our main source of hanging out was through video games. This mainly consisted of multiplayer games which we played together. There's a huge variety of games you can play, online or on Steam! Whether it's a co-operative game of ‘Don’t Starve Together’ or a challenge of chess. You can also play single player games by screen sharing on Skype – me and my girlfriend got through ‘Undertale’ by her playing and me giving tips.

You could also watch some movies together! Try using rabb.it which will let you watch movies and browse websites together. There are a ton of other websites like this, but I would definitely recommend rabb.it.

There are also long-distance dating apps you can use, such as Couple. It gives you a private messaging service, as well as cute (and corny) features such as a drawing app and a “thumb-kiss”. There's a lot of other apps out there too, so have a look around!

For those in long-distance relationships, here's my advice: it's hard to maintain, but communication is key! Keep hard at your relationship. 

~ Hollie

A large and controversial topic in politics is marijuana – should it be legalised or not? But perhaps to many, you may not understand what it is, how it effects people and lives. Maybe you've heard some words thrown around school – “weed” “pot” “a joint”. Maybe you know people who have tried it or still do. But it's important to know about these things in case you ever feel pressured or invited to try some and you don't have an opinion. I will try discuss what it is and other information that will help you form your opinion. Please know that I will keep it an unbiased article – though I advocate it in my own personal opinion, there are others who may disagree.


First off – what is weed? Weed is one of the many street names of the drug, including names like “pot”, “grass”, “dope” and, of course, the somewhat comical “420”. But it's proper name is cannabis. It is a type of plant that contains large amounts of tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) that is used as a medical drug. However, upon proper preparation, it can be used as a drug through different methods – smoking, vaporisation, within food or as an extract.


Complicated origins aside, people who use weed recreationally experience a number of effects which make using it enjoyable. The main effect is happiness and relaxation, where the brain relaxes from everything due to the chemicals. However other possible symptoms can include a distortion of reality, hallucinations, paranoia, reddening of the eyes, increased appetite and struggles with cognitive movement.


These symptoms, therefore, are debatable on whether using it recreationally is good or not. Many people use it medically to help deal with physical conditions to ease the pain or for mental disorders such as depression and anxiety, where the chemicals make them feel better. However, addiction to the drug can occur, long-term usage can cause problems socially and some research claims it can affects physical health. It also noted that the use of marijuana can impair education and has shown to have negative effects on users concentration, memory and learning.


Whether you choose to try it if ever invited is up to you. Ensure you are not pressured to by friends and ensure it is your choice and yours only. If you do agree, then be aware of your settings and surroundings – be with people that you can totally trust in case you start having severe effects (known as a “bad high”). Also ensure the enviroment you are in is safe for the use. This is particularly important if it is in a country where use is illegal. Make sure you know your limits so you don’t smoke too much and have a bad trip. It’s all wise to look up the health risks, laws and consequences of using so you can make the opinion to use it. Either way, make sure you stay safe! Your opinion matters so don’t feel bad if you don’t do it, and don’t feel guilty if you do!
~ Hollie

Depression is a mental disorder that causes prolonged periods of sadness, often with an unknown or unexplainable cause. Though depression usually affects people all throughout the year, it's very common that it worsens during the winter months. This is due to the cold temperatures and lack of/less sunlight, which can cause unhappiness versus warm temperatures and lots of light in the warmer months.

A depression disorder that is particularly specific on sadness in the winter months is Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), or “winter depression”. SAD usually shows all the common depression symptoms but only tends to appear around autumn and winter. It is particularly severe between November and February, and usually improves and disappears as it gets warmer.

There are many ways to try get through the winter blues. A common treatment is light therapy, which involves frequent exposure to a special lamp called a light box. The light will produce serotonin in the body which improves mood, appetite and sleep.

​Other ways that could help with depression, not just in winter but at any time, includes picking up new hobbies to keep your mind off things, and seeing friends and family to improve mood – even if it's just a cup of tea with a friend. Remember not to go too far out of your comfort zone though! Going through highly uncomfortable experiences is not good at all.

The winter months may be rough, but it's possible to get through!

~ Hollie

Perhaps you have heard of this term before, and perhaps the controversy and prejudice against it. The definition of otherkin is complex, as the feelings that otherkin experience vary, but is simply defined to be a social connection to something non-human. This definition alone has sparked lots of dislike, commonly creating the argument: “You were born human, you're not anything else other than that.”
But otherkin is more than just believing you are something other than human. It's about the spiritual connection. The ways that they feel connected varies – some believe they were born externally human and internally something else; some believe they have a whole or partial soul of something non-human; others believe they may have been it in a past life through reincarnation. It's overall usually about a spiritual connection, rather than a physical. For example, one could believe they were once a fox in a past life and have been reincarnated into a human but still have that spiritual connection to a fox. Another could believe that they were just born with a connection to the soul with wolves.
​
Something that commonly occurs with identifying as an otherkin is “ghost limbs”. This phenomenon involves often feeling different limbs and features that are linked to the non-human label. This could includes tails, ears, wings, and paws to name. This may sound a little peculiar but scientists have linked this to phantom limb sensation which occurs often after amputation.

The prejudice that otherkin face is heavy. Because people refuse to understand, they use otherkin as bait to pick on. This is similarly how homophobes and transphobes act – they act this way as they refuse or cannot understand but are desperate to maintain dignity and superiority.

Whether or not you agree with the existence of otherkin, it should be common courtesy to avoid targeting them for it. I believe we should let people identify how they wish, regardless whether you understand or not.

Something I noticed as I explore my gender identity, as I have been for around a year now, is that the signs of being non-binary or transgender often (but perhaps not always, and that is important) show during childhood. As a child, we’re expected to conform to society's rules of gender – that’s boys enjoying things “for boys” like playing with guns and toy planes, rolling in the dirt, generally being adventurous; girls enjoying “girly things” like dress-up and toy dolls and generally being pretty. It's still built even as a teenager in society – the boys are tough and strong, play fighting with mates and swaggering around with tracksuit bottoms and hoodies; girls are sleek and pretty, putting perhaps too much time into their appearance (for who? For themselves or those around her?) and trotting with tight jeans pulled to the belly-button and tiny handbags. These are society's standards – so what happens if someone does the opposite of what society expects, or does neither at all?

One of the reasons of doing this perhaps down to gender identity. What if a AMAB (Assigned Male at Birth) starts wearing skirts and make-up? What if a AFAB (Assigned Female at Birth) starts having short hair and fights with the boys? This might be because they're transgender – they feel as if they identify as the opposite gender, and perhaps therefore prefer the opposite gender standards. I notice this is often apparent even from childhood – people who I know who identify as transgender often find that, growing up, they did not conform to society's expectations of gender – the “girls” didn't wear dresses and didn't play dress-up but played outside in the garden with toy guns; the “boys” didn't reenact war scenes with toy soldiers but played with Barbie dolls instead. The girls were blue, and the boys were pink.

But then there are people who are trans who do meet the gender expectations of what gender they were assigned with at birth. Some transboys still like to don a skirt and some lipstick; some transgirls enjoy their hoodies and other masculine clothes. But what's important is that this does not make transgenders “fake” or any less valid!

But what about non-binaries? Where do we have to be? Do we conform to the one we prefer, both, or somehow neither? I identify as genderfluid, does this mean I have to choose which standard to live up to every day? No, I'm here to tell you that you can do whatever you want. I’m genderfluid and I usually find myself feeling “gender neutral” but even still I like masculine things, I enjoy being perceived by people as male, I even like he/him pronouns but I'm still genderfluid.

What I'm implying here is that we, as both a society and as a LGBTQA+ community, need to separate the idea of gender conventions and gender identity. If a cis male likes dresses and make-up, he can still be a cis male. If a transgirl likes hoodies and adventuring in the dirt, she's still a transgirl. If a non-binary likes skirts and guns, they're still a non-binary. You're valid for whatever you are, whatever you enjoy wearing or doing, whatever your gender identity is!

Something I noticed as I explore my gender identity, as I have been for around a year now, is that the signs of being non-binary or transgender often (but perhaps not always, and that is important) show during childhood. As a child, we’re expected to conform to society's rules of gender – that’s boys enjoying things “for boys” like playing with guns and toy planes, rolling in the dirt, generally being adventurous; girls enjoying “girly things” like dress-up and toy dolls and generally being pretty. It's still built even as a teenager in society – the boys are tough and strong, play fighting with mates and swaggering around with tracksuit bottoms and hoodies; girls are sleek and pretty, putting perhaps too much time into their appearance (for who? For themselves or those around her?) and trotting with tight jeans pulled to the belly-button and tiny handbags. These are society's standards – so what happens if someone does the opposite of what society expects, or does neither at all?

One of the reasons of doing this perhaps down to gender identity. What if a AMAB (Assigned Male at Birth) starts wearing skirts and make-up? What if a AFAB (Assigned Female at Birth) starts having short hair and fights with the boys? This might be because they're transgender – they feel as if they identify as the opposite gender, and perhaps therefore prefer the opposite gender standards. I notice this is often apparent even from childhood – people who I know who identify as transgender often find that, growing up, they did not conform to society's expectations of gender – the “girls” didn't wear dresses and didn't play dress-up but played outside in the garden with toy guns; the “boys” didn't reenact war scenes with toy soldiers but played with Barbie dolls instead. The girls were blue, and the boys were pink.

But then there are people who are trans who do meet the gender expectations of what gender they were assigned with at birth. Some transboys still like to don a skirt and some lipstick; some transgirls enjoy their hoodies and other masculine clothes. But what's important is that this does not make transgenders “fake” or any less valid!

But what about non-binaries? Where do we have to be? Do we conform to the one we prefer, both, or somehow neither? I identify as genderfluid, does this mean I have to choose which standard to live up to every day? No, I'm here to tell you that you can do whatever you want. I’m genderfluid and I usually find myself feeling “gender neutral” but even still I like masculine things, I enjoy being perceived by people as male, I even like he/him pronouns but I'm still genderfluid.

What I'm implying here is that we, as both a society and as a LGBTQA+ community, need to separate the idea of gender conventions and gender identity. If a cis male likes dresses and make-up, he can still be a cis male. If a transgirl likes hoodies and adventuring in the dirt, she's still a transgirl. If a non-binary likes skirts and guns, they're still a non-binary. You're valid for whatever you are, whatever you enjoy wearing or doing, whatever your gender identity is!
Something I noticed as I explore my gender identity, as I have been for around a year now, is that the signs of being non-binary or transgender often (but perhaps not always, and that is important) show during childhood. As a child, we’re expected to conform to society's rules of gender – that’s boys enjoying things “for boys” like playing with guns and toy planes, rolling in the dirt, generally being adventurous; girls enjoying “girly things” like dress-up and toy dolls and generally being pretty. It's still built even as a teenager in society – the boys are tough and strong, play fighting with mates and swaggering around with tracksuit bottoms and hoodies; girls are sleek and pretty, putting perhaps too much time into their appearance (for who? For themselves or those around her?) and trotting with tight jeans pulled to the belly-button and tiny handbags. These are society's standards – so what happens if someone does the opposite of what society expects, or does neither at all?

One of the reasons of doing this perhaps down to gender identity. What if a AMAB (Assigned Male at Birth) starts wearing skirts and make-up? What if a AFAB (Assigned Female at Birth) starts having short hair and fights with the boys? This might be because they're transgender – they feel as if they identify as the opposite gender, and perhaps therefore prefer the opposite gender standards. I notice this is often apparent even from childhood – people who I know who identify as transgender often find that, growing up, they did not conform to society's expectations of gender – the “girls” didn't wear dresses and didn't play dress-up but played outside in the garden with toy guns; the “boys” didn't reenact war scenes with toy soldiers but played with Barbie dolls instead. The girls were blue, and the boys were pink.

But then there are people who are trans who do meet the gender expectations of what gender they were assigned with at birth. Some transboys still like to don a skirt and some lipstick; some transgirls enjoy their hoodies and other masculine clothes. But what's important is that this does not make transgenders “fake” or any less valid!

But what about non-binaries? Where do we have to be? Do we conform to the one we prefer, both, or somehow neither? I identify as genderfluid, does this mean I have to choose which standard to live up to every day? No, I'm here to tell you that you can do whatever you want. I’m genderfluid and I usually find myself feeling “gender neutral” but even still I like masculine things, I enjoy being perceived by people as male, I even like he/him pronouns but I'm still genderfluid.

What I'm implying here is that we, as both a society and as a LGBTQA+ community, need to separate the idea of gender conventions and gender identity. If a cis male likes dresses and make-up, he can still be a cis male. If a transgirl likes hoodies and adventuring in the dirt, she's still a transgirl. If a non-binary likes skirts and guns, they're still a non-binary. You're valid for whatever you are, whatever you enjoy wearing or doing, whatever your gender identity is!
Something I noticed as I explore my gender identity, as I have been for around a year now, is that the signs of being non-binary or transgender often (but perhaps not always, and that is important) show during childhood. As a child, we’re expected to conform to society's rules of gender – that’s boys enjoying things “for boys” like playing with guns and toy planes, rolling in the dirt, generally being adventurous; girls enjoying “girly things” like dress-up and toy dolls and generally being pretty. It's still built even as a teenager in society – the boys are tough and strong, play fighting with mates and swaggering around with tracksuit bottoms and hoodies; girls are sleek and pretty, putting perhaps too much time into their appearance (for who? For themselves or those around her?) and trotting with tight jeans pulled to the belly-button and tiny handbags. These are society's standards – so what happens if someone does the opposite of what society expects, or does neither at all?

One of the reasons of doing this perhaps down to gender identity. What if a AMAB (Assigned Male at Birth) starts wearing skirts and make-up? What if a AFAB (Assigned Female at Birth) starts having short hair and fights with the boys? This might be because they're transgender – they feel as if they identify as the opposite gender, and perhaps therefore prefer the opposite gender standards. I notice this is often apparent even from childhood – people who I know who identify as transgender often find that, growing up, they did not conform to society's expectations of gender – the “girls” didn't wear dresses and didn't play dress-up but played outside in the garden with toy guns; the “boys” didn't reenact war scenes with toy soldiers but played with Barbie dolls instead. The girls were blue, and the boys were pink.

But then there are people who are trans who do meet the gender expectations of what gender they were assigned with at birth. Some transboys still like to don a skirt and some lipstick; some transgirls enjoy their hoodies and other masculine clothes. But what's important is that this does not make transgenders “fake” or any less valid!

But what about non-binaries? Where do we have to be? Do we conform to the one we prefer, both, or somehow neither? I identify as genderfluid, does this mean I have to choose which standard to live up to every day? No, I'm here to tell you that you can do whatever you want. I’m genderfluid and I usually find myself feeling “gender neutral” but even still I like masculine things, I enjoy being perceived by people as male, I even like he/him pronouns but I'm still genderfluid.

What I'm implying here is that we, as both a society and as a LGBTQA+ community, need to separate the idea of gender conventions and gender identity. If a cis male likes dresses and make-up, he can still be a cis male. If a transgirl likes hoodies and adventuring in the dirt, she's still a transgirl. If a non-binary likes skirts and guns, they're still a non-binary. You're valid for whatever you are, whatever you enjoy wearing or doing, whatever your gender identity is!

​When you think of asexuality, do you think of what you were taught in Science classes? Asexual reproduction - a type of reproduction by which offspring arise from a single organism, and inherit the genes of that parent only. Or perhaps you think of us – the asexuals, butt of plant jokes and master of puns. As an asexual myself, I feel as if society does not know what Asexuality is in the LGBTQA+ community and it's time I helped clear things up.

Asexuality is defined as “having no or lacking of sexual attraction towards other people”. We do not feel sexual attraction and this  means our opinion on sexual activities varies. Some may be repulsed by sex, some may enjoy sex, others may be indifferent or do it for their partner. This is also similar for aromantics – having no or lacking of romantic attraction towards other people – and the subject of romantic activities. This means, as an example, an asexual may enjoy kissing and cuddling but be repulsed by sex, or perhaps an aromantic asexual may not enjoy either. But it may also be a case of an asexual enjoying both sex and general kissing – just not feeling any romantic or sexual feelings out of it.

However, Asexuality is not simply defined as “having sexual/romantic attraction or not”. In fact, it broadens into a whole spectrum. This includes several identites such as greyasexual (experiencing sexual attraction but not often, or on specific circumstances) and demisexual (only experiencing sexual attraction after establishing a close bond first). These can also be for romantic attraction.

My own experience of Asexuality has been a tough one. I am an asexual demiromantic which means I experience no sexual attraction and only experience romantic attraction with those I get attached to. My first boyfriend broke up with me because of this – though neither of us knew it at the time. Because I was not “romantic” enough, he ended the relationship with me. (It's all a happy ending though because it turns out he's gay!) I discovered my asexual label after being given a sex talk from my LGBTQA+ Support Group, and realised sex was not a thing I enjoyed.

It brought me down, to be honest. We live in a society that is centred around sex and love. Our movies have soppy romance scenes and sexy times; our posters have naked men and women kissing with a grayscale filter; we don't ask “Have you gotten laid?” but rather “How many have you laid?” The very fact that I can't fall in love and date as many as others, and the fact I can't understand why sex is such an exciting thing for everyone, makes me feel depressed and alienated from society. But I am learning to accept who I am.

 Those who identify as asexual are not “broken”. They are not “scared”, or “frigid” or “prudes”. It's not a case of “you'll change your mind” or “you just haven't found the right person”. And, in the case of the LGBTQA+ community against Asexuality, it doesn't mean we're “basically straight”. We're valid for who we are, and part of the community. 

~ Hollie