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Things to know about coming out

21/6/2017

2 Comments

 
For the LGBTQA+ person, whether it’s to do with their sexuality or gender or both, coming out could be an easy or difficult ordeal. It’s important for people who aren’t LGBTQA+ to understand how difficult it is for some people to come out.


“Coming out” is a term used for those of the LGBTQA+ to introduce and explain their identity – whether it’s telling somebody you’re gay, or explaining your gender plus name and pronouns. Although now we live in a time where LGBTQA+ rights have never been better, there are still a lot of hatred in the world. Gay marriage is still barred in some countries, transgenders are common targets for assaults and non-binary people are practically non-existent to the modern day world.


That’s why one of the most important things about coming out to people is SAFETY. A lot of people, especially straight and cis people, often say things such as, “Why aren’t you out yet?” or “You should come out, my friend already has!” Coming out isn’t a race nor a competition. Some people haven’t come out for safety reasons, such as homophobic/transphobic family members or classmates. Others may not feel comfortable about coming out yet and need time. Non-binaries don’t come out often as their genders are viewed as invalid to a lot of people in society.


Another thing that people should understand is that coming out to people never really ends. You will always meet new people who you need to explain your sexuality and gender to. The first steps of coming out are often the most terrifying, as it is your first time coming out and it usually starts with people close to you such as good friends or parents.


For those who are friends with LGBTQA+ people, it’s very important that you be careful when you out them to other people. Often in conversation they may use the wrong name or pronoun and you may feel compelled to correct them. It’ll be safer if you don’t! Chances are they might not want to be out to people yet. It’s safer to ask your friend, just in case.


Coming out is a stressful ordeal. The consequences could be great or fatal (or even indifferent, in my case). If things don’t go right, there are plenty of actions to take. Call up hotlines designed for LGBTQA+ members or confide in friends who also LGBTQA+. If you’re planning on coming out soon, I wish you all the luck!
 
~ Hollie
2 Comments

Sexual and ROMANTIC attraction

31/3/2017

1 Comment

 
​There's a lot of terms being thrown around these days linked with sexuality, and at first it may be very puzzling to anyone – whether you're somebody investigating what they may identify as, or a straight ally trying to educate themselves. A common question I've come across from most people is the difference between sexual attraction and romantic attraction.

It's a very simple definition with a more complex explanation. To experience sexual attraction is to feel an attraction to a person/s with sexual feelings and perhaps a desire to have sexual relationships with them. This creates the difference with romantic attraction. Romantic attraction is experiencing romantic feelings towards a person/s and perhaps a desire to have a romantic relationship with them. It is possible to experience both of these attractions, or only one of them. When it comes to displaying this, romantic acts usually involve kissing and cuddling (romantic, almost “cute” or “tame” acts) whilst sexual involves – you guessed it, sex!

The way this ties into people's sexuality is the way they do (or do not) experience the two attractions. For example, a male could be a biromantic homosexual: they experience romantic attraction to two genders (it could be male and female, or perhaps a different gender! Remember “bi” involves two genders, not just limited to males and females!) but only experiences sexual attraction to his gender  only. Another example is that a woman may be homoromantic homosexual – experiencing sexual and romantic attraction to her gender only. Others may even not experience romantic or sexual attraction at all! This is known as aromatic and asexual.

Hopefully this explains well enough the difference. Don't be shy to ask if you still have questions! You can ask here on the website or at any of our social medias.

~ Hollie
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How to help a friend who self-harms

1/3/2017

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TRIGGER WARNING: SELF-HARM

I feel that all over the internet there are articles to help people who deal with self-harm deal with their struggle. It’s good to try deal with problems independently, but difficult to do it alone. That’s why we all need friends to help us on our way! But self-harm is a very difficult subject to tackle, let alone talk about. I want to help people try to help friends with their issues, because finding out your friend self-harms is a terrible things – you just want them to be happy.


The first step is to understand self-harm itself. There are a variety of reasons of why people start and continue. It’s main use is a coping mechanism to handle emotions. Some find the sight of blood relaxing, whilst others use the physical pain to “numb” the emotional. Others often self-harm as a form of punishment if they do something bad. The most well-known method to self-harm is cutting – this is typically thought of to be done on the wrists or forearm, but it is not limited to other areas of the body such as shoulders, hips and legs. Other methods include, but are not limited to, punching, biting, scratching and burning. If your friend self-harms, ask what method they use if you feel comfortable to – but it may not be a good idea to ask why they do it. They may wish to keep this private or it might even trigger them just thinking about it.
On the topic of triggers, it may also be a good idea to ask your friend their triggers. This is very helpful as it can help you avoid hurting your friend accidently – a littlest joke to you might mean a terrible insult to them. A friend who self-harms (or even feels unhappy at all) needs a lot of support through their trying time, and insults build-up to emotionally hurt them a lot. Make sure you let your friend know you care, and avoid triggers.
It’s also a good idea to try offer alternatives or help. Counselling, therapy or even a doctor will help your friend – but don’t put them out of their comfort zone, unless it’s a real emergency. There are many alternatives to self-harm too. This can be done through similar feeling but non-harmful ways (writing short stories or poems, destroying things) or calming methods (warm baths, spending time with family or friends, cuddling a blanket).


Some people try to take away the weapon used to self-harm. There are advantages and disadvantages to this – though it may be an effort to help your friend stop and it may work, there’s also a chance that it could continue if they have multiple methods or they use something else. I would prefer not to mention who, but I knew somebody who had their weapon taken away – a broken pen – and actually started using a more lethal weapon – a pair of scissors.


Just look after your friend through their dark time, but don’t forget to look after yourself too!


~ Hollie
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Long-distance relationships

14/2/2017

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Long-Distance Relationships

As Valentines Day approaches, there are many of people who are lucky to be celebrating with a special someone/s and others who are single this year. But a new problem arising within the current generation of people is those in long-distance relationships. These are people who are dating others who may live in another town, across the country or even across the world. Valentines Day is tough for them, because physical contact is impossible meaning text and video calls is their only source of contact. But there are ways to still have a Valentine date for those in this position!

When I was dating my girlfriend who lived almost on the other side of my country, our main source of hanging out was through video games. This mainly consisted of multiplayer games which we played together. There's a huge variety of games you can play, online or on Steam! Whether it's a co-operative game of ‘Don’t Starve Together’ or a challenge of chess. You can also play single player games by screen sharing on Skype – me and my girlfriend got through ‘Undertale’ by her playing and me giving tips.

You could also watch some movies together! Try using rabb.it which will let you watch movies and browse websites together. There are a ton of other websites like this, but I would definitely recommend rabb.it.

There are also long-distance dating apps you can use, such as Couple. It gives you a private messaging service, as well as cute (and corny) features such as a drawing app and a “thumb-kiss”. There's a lot of other apps out there too, so have a look around!

For those in long-distance relationships, here's my advice: it's hard to maintain, but communication is key! Keep hard at your relationship. 

~ Hollie
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Drugs: What is marijuana?

23/12/2016

2 Comments

 
A large and controversial topic in politics is marijuana – should it be legalised or not? But perhaps to many, you may not understand what it is, how it effects people and lives. Maybe you've heard some words thrown around school – “weed” “pot” “a joint”. Maybe you know people who have tried it or still do. But it's important to know about these things in case you ever feel pressured or invited to try some and you don't have an opinion. I will try discuss what it is and other information that will help you form your opinion. Please know that I will keep it an unbiased article – though I advocate it in my own personal opinion, there are others who may disagree.


First off – what is weed? Weed is one of the many street names of the drug, including names like “pot”, “grass”, “dope” and, of course, the somewhat comical “420”. But it's proper name is cannabis. It is a type of plant that contains large amounts of tetrahydrocannabinol (THC) that is used as a medical drug. However, upon proper preparation, it can be used as a drug through different methods – smoking, vaporisation, within food or as an extract.


Complicated origins aside, people who use weed recreationally experience a number of effects which make using it enjoyable. The main effect is happiness and relaxation, where the brain relaxes from everything due to the chemicals. However other possible symptoms can include a distortion of reality, hallucinations, paranoia, reddening of the eyes, increased appetite and struggles with cognitive movement.


These symptoms, therefore, are debatable on whether using it recreationally is good or not. Many people use it medically to help deal with physical conditions to ease the pain or for mental disorders such as depression and anxiety, where the chemicals make them feel better. However, addiction to the drug can occur, long-term usage can cause problems socially and some research claims it can affects physical health. It also noted that the use of marijuana can impair education and has shown to have negative effects on users concentration, memory and learning.


Whether you choose to try it if ever invited is up to you. Ensure you are not pressured to by friends and ensure it is your choice and yours only. If you do agree, then be aware of your settings and surroundings – be with people that you can totally trust in case you start having severe effects (known as a “bad high”). Also ensure the enviroment you are in is safe for the use. This is particularly important if it is in a country where use is illegal. Make sure you know your limits so you don’t smoke too much and have a bad trip. It’s all wise to look up the health risks, laws and consequences of using so you can make the opinion to use it. Either way, make sure you stay safe! Your opinion matters so don’t feel bad if you don’t do it, and don’t feel guilty if you do!
~ Hollie
2 Comments

Depression In The Winter

8/12/2016

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Depression is a mental disorder that causes prolonged periods of sadness, often with an unknown or unexplainable cause. Though depression usually affects people all throughout the year, it's very common that it worsens during the winter months. This is due to the cold temperatures and lack of/less sunlight, which can cause unhappiness versus warm temperatures and lots of light in the warmer months.

A depression disorder that is particularly specific on sadness in the winter months is Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), or “winter depression”. SAD usually shows all the common depression symptoms but only tends to appear around autumn and winter. It is particularly severe between November and February, and usually improves and disappears as it gets warmer.

There are many ways to try get through the winter blues. A common treatment is light therapy, which involves frequent exposure to a special lamp called a light box. The light will produce serotonin in the body which improves mood, appetite and sleep.

​Other ways that could help with depression, not just in winter but at any time, includes picking up new hobbies to keep your mind off things, and seeing friends and family to improve mood – even if it's just a cup of tea with a friend. Remember not to go too far out of your comfort zone though! Going through highly uncomfortable experiences is not good at all.

The winter months may be rough, but it's possible to get through!

~ Hollie
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Otherkin

18/11/2016

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Perhaps you have heard of this term before, and perhaps the controversy and prejudice against it. The definition of otherkin is complex, as the feelings that otherkin experience vary, but is simply defined to be a social connection to something non-human. This definition alone has sparked lots of dislike, commonly creating the argument: “You were born human, you're not anything else other than that.”
But otherkin is more than just believing you are something other than human. It's about the spiritual connection. The ways that they feel connected varies – some believe they were born externally human and internally something else; some believe they have a whole or partial soul of something non-human; others believe they may have been it in a past life through reincarnation. It's overall usually about a spiritual connection, rather than a physical. For example, one could believe they were once a fox in a past life and have been reincarnated into a human but still have that spiritual connection to a fox. Another could believe that they were just born with a connection to the soul with wolves.
​
Something that commonly occurs with identifying as an otherkin is “ghost limbs”. This phenomenon involves often feeling different limbs and features that are linked to the non-human label. This could includes tails, ears, wings, and paws to name. This may sound a little peculiar but scientists have linked this to phantom limb sensation which occurs often after amputation.

The prejudice that otherkin face is heavy. Because people refuse to understand, they use otherkin as bait to pick on. This is similarly how homophobes and transphobes act – they act this way as they refuse or cannot understand but are desperate to maintain dignity and superiority.

Whether or not you agree with the existence of otherkin, it should be common courtesy to avoid targeting them for it. I believe we should let people identify how they wish, regardless whether you understand or not.
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Gender Identity and Society's standards

10/11/2016

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Something I noticed as I explore my gender identity, as I have been for around a year now, is that the signs of being non-binary or transgender often (but perhaps not always, and that is important) show during childhood. As a child, we’re expected to conform to society's rules of gender – that’s boys enjoying things “for boys” like playing with guns and toy planes, rolling in the dirt, generally being adventurous; girls enjoying “girly things” like dress-up and toy dolls and generally being pretty. It's still built even as a teenager in society – the boys are tough and strong, play fighting with mates and swaggering around with tracksuit bottoms and hoodies; girls are sleek and pretty, putting perhaps too much time into their appearance (for who? For themselves or those around her?) and trotting with tight jeans pulled to the belly-button and tiny handbags. These are society's standards – so what happens if someone does the opposite of what society expects, or does neither at all?

One of the reasons of doing this perhaps down to gender identity. What if a AMAB (Assigned Male at Birth) starts wearing skirts and make-up? What if a AFAB (Assigned Female at Birth) starts having short hair and fights with the boys? This might be because they're transgender – they feel as if they identify as the opposite gender, and perhaps therefore prefer the opposite gender standards. I notice this is often apparent even from childhood – people who I know who identify as transgender often find that, growing up, they did not conform to society's expectations of gender – the “girls” didn't wear dresses and didn't play dress-up but played outside in the garden with toy guns; the “boys” didn't reenact war scenes with toy soldiers but played with Barbie dolls instead. The girls were blue, and the boys were pink.

But then there are people who are trans who do meet the gender expectations of what gender they were assigned with at birth. Some transboys still like to don a skirt and some lipstick; some transgirls enjoy their hoodies and other masculine clothes. But what's important is that this does not make transgenders “fake” or any less valid!

But what about non-binaries? Where do we have to be? Do we conform to the one we prefer, both, or somehow neither? I identify as genderfluid, does this mean I have to choose which standard to live up to every day? No, I'm here to tell you that you can do whatever you want. I’m genderfluid and I usually find myself feeling “gender neutral” but even still I like masculine things, I enjoy being perceived by people as male, I even like he/him pronouns but I'm still genderfluid.

What I'm implying here is that we, as both a society and as a LGBTQA+ community, need to separate the idea of gender conventions and gender identity. If a cis male likes dresses and make-up, he can still be a cis male. If a transgirl likes hoodies and adventuring in the dirt, she's still a transgirl. If a non-binary likes skirts and guns, they're still a non-binary. You're valid for whatever you are, whatever you enjoy wearing or doing, whatever your gender identity is!

Something I noticed as I explore my gender identity, as I have been for around a year now, is that the signs of being non-binary or transgender often (but perhaps not always, and that is important) show during childhood. As a child, we’re expected to conform to society's rules of gender – that’s boys enjoying things “for boys” like playing with guns and toy planes, rolling in the dirt, generally being adventurous; girls enjoying “girly things” like dress-up and toy dolls and generally being pretty. It's still built even as a teenager in society – the boys are tough and strong, play fighting with mates and swaggering around with tracksuit bottoms and hoodies; girls are sleek and pretty, putting perhaps too much time into their appearance (for who? For themselves or those around her?) and trotting with tight jeans pulled to the belly-button and tiny handbags. These are society's standards – so what happens if someone does the opposite of what society expects, or does neither at all?

One of the reasons of doing this perhaps down to gender identity. What if a AMAB (Assigned Male at Birth) starts wearing skirts and make-up? What if a AFAB (Assigned Female at Birth) starts having short hair and fights with the boys? This might be because they're transgender – they feel as if they identify as the opposite gender, and perhaps therefore prefer the opposite gender standards. I notice this is often apparent even from childhood – people who I know who identify as transgender often find that, growing up, they did not conform to society's expectations of gender – the “girls” didn't wear dresses and didn't play dress-up but played outside in the garden with toy guns; the “boys” didn't reenact war scenes with toy soldiers but played with Barbie dolls instead. The girls were blue, and the boys were pink.

But then there are people who are trans who do meet the gender expectations of what gender they were assigned with at birth. Some transboys still like to don a skirt and some lipstick; some transgirls enjoy their hoodies and other masculine clothes. But what's important is that this does not make transgenders “fake” or any less valid!

But what about non-binaries? Where do we have to be? Do we conform to the one we prefer, both, or somehow neither? I identify as genderfluid, does this mean I have to choose which standard to live up to every day? No, I'm here to tell you that you can do whatever you want. I’m genderfluid and I usually find myself feeling “gender neutral” but even still I like masculine things, I enjoy being perceived by people as male, I even like he/him pronouns but I'm still genderfluid.

What I'm implying here is that we, as both a society and as a LGBTQA+ community, need to separate the idea of gender conventions and gender identity. If a cis male likes dresses and make-up, he can still be a cis male. If a transgirl likes hoodies and adventuring in the dirt, she's still a transgirl. If a non-binary likes skirts and guns, they're still a non-binary. You're valid for whatever you are, whatever you enjoy wearing or doing, whatever your gender identity is!
Something I noticed as I explore my gender identity, as I have been for around a year now, is that the signs of being non-binary or transgender often (but perhaps not always, and that is important) show during childhood. As a child, we’re expected to conform to society's rules of gender – that’s boys enjoying things “for boys” like playing with guns and toy planes, rolling in the dirt, generally being adventurous; girls enjoying “girly things” like dress-up and toy dolls and generally being pretty. It's still built even as a teenager in society – the boys are tough and strong, play fighting with mates and swaggering around with tracksuit bottoms and hoodies; girls are sleek and pretty, putting perhaps too much time into their appearance (for who? For themselves or those around her?) and trotting with tight jeans pulled to the belly-button and tiny handbags. These are society's standards – so what happens if someone does the opposite of what society expects, or does neither at all?

One of the reasons of doing this perhaps down to gender identity. What if a AMAB (Assigned Male at Birth) starts wearing skirts and make-up? What if a AFAB (Assigned Female at Birth) starts having short hair and fights with the boys? This might be because they're transgender – they feel as if they identify as the opposite gender, and perhaps therefore prefer the opposite gender standards. I notice this is often apparent even from childhood – people who I know who identify as transgender often find that, growing up, they did not conform to society's expectations of gender – the “girls” didn't wear dresses and didn't play dress-up but played outside in the garden with toy guns; the “boys” didn't reenact war scenes with toy soldiers but played with Barbie dolls instead. The girls were blue, and the boys were pink.

But then there are people who are trans who do meet the gender expectations of what gender they were assigned with at birth. Some transboys still like to don a skirt and some lipstick; some transgirls enjoy their hoodies and other masculine clothes. But what's important is that this does not make transgenders “fake” or any less valid!

But what about non-binaries? Where do we have to be? Do we conform to the one we prefer, both, or somehow neither? I identify as genderfluid, does this mean I have to choose which standard to live up to every day? No, I'm here to tell you that you can do whatever you want. I’m genderfluid and I usually find myself feeling “gender neutral” but even still I like masculine things, I enjoy being perceived by people as male, I even like he/him pronouns but I'm still genderfluid.

What I'm implying here is that we, as both a society and as a LGBTQA+ community, need to separate the idea of gender conventions and gender identity. If a cis male likes dresses and make-up, he can still be a cis male. If a transgirl likes hoodies and adventuring in the dirt, she's still a transgirl. If a non-binary likes skirts and guns, they're still a non-binary. You're valid for whatever you are, whatever you enjoy wearing or doing, whatever your gender identity is!
Something I noticed as I explore my gender identity, as I have been for around a year now, is that the signs of being non-binary or transgender often (but perhaps not always, and that is important) show during childhood. As a child, we’re expected to conform to society's rules of gender – that’s boys enjoying things “for boys” like playing with guns and toy planes, rolling in the dirt, generally being adventurous; girls enjoying “girly things” like dress-up and toy dolls and generally being pretty. It's still built even as a teenager in society – the boys are tough and strong, play fighting with mates and swaggering around with tracksuit bottoms and hoodies; girls are sleek and pretty, putting perhaps too much time into their appearance (for who? For themselves or those around her?) and trotting with tight jeans pulled to the belly-button and tiny handbags. These are society's standards – so what happens if someone does the opposite of what society expects, or does neither at all?

One of the reasons of doing this perhaps down to gender identity. What if a AMAB (Assigned Male at Birth) starts wearing skirts and make-up? What if a AFAB (Assigned Female at Birth) starts having short hair and fights with the boys? This might be because they're transgender – they feel as if they identify as the opposite gender, and perhaps therefore prefer the opposite gender standards. I notice this is often apparent even from childhood – people who I know who identify as transgender often find that, growing up, they did not conform to society's expectations of gender – the “girls” didn't wear dresses and didn't play dress-up but played outside in the garden with toy guns; the “boys” didn't reenact war scenes with toy soldiers but played with Barbie dolls instead. The girls were blue, and the boys were pink.

But then there are people who are trans who do meet the gender expectations of what gender they were assigned with at birth. Some transboys still like to don a skirt and some lipstick; some transgirls enjoy their hoodies and other masculine clothes. But what's important is that this does not make transgenders “fake” or any less valid!

But what about non-binaries? Where do we have to be? Do we conform to the one we prefer, both, or somehow neither? I identify as genderfluid, does this mean I have to choose which standard to live up to every day? No, I'm here to tell you that you can do whatever you want. I’m genderfluid and I usually find myself feeling “gender neutral” but even still I like masculine things, I enjoy being perceived by people as male, I even like he/him pronouns but I'm still genderfluid.

What I'm implying here is that we, as both a society and as a LGBTQA+ community, need to separate the idea of gender conventions and gender identity. If a cis male likes dresses and make-up, he can still be a cis male. If a transgirl likes hoodies and adventuring in the dirt, she's still a transgirl. If a non-binary likes skirts and guns, they're still a non-binary. You're valid for whatever you are, whatever you enjoy wearing or doing, whatever your gender identity is!
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the asexual spectrum

23/9/2016

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​When you think of asexuality, do you think of what you were taught in Science classes? Asexual reproduction - a type of reproduction by which offspring arise from a single organism, and inherit the genes of that parent only. Or perhaps you think of us – the asexuals, butt of plant jokes and master of puns. As an asexual myself, I feel as if society does not know what Asexuality is in the LGBTQA+ community and it's time I helped clear things up.

Asexuality is defined as “having no or lacking of sexual attraction towards other people”. We do not feel sexual attraction and this  means our opinion on sexual activities varies. Some may be repulsed by sex, some may enjoy sex, others may be indifferent or do it for their partner. This is also similar for aromantics – having no or lacking of romantic attraction towards other people – and the subject of romantic activities. This means, as an example, an asexual may enjoy kissing and cuddling but be repulsed by sex, or perhaps an aromantic asexual may not enjoy either. But it may also be a case of an asexual enjoying both sex and general kissing – just not feeling any romantic or sexual feelings out of it.

However, Asexuality is not simply defined as “having sexual/romantic attraction or not”. In fact, it broadens into a whole spectrum. This includes several identites such as greyasexual (experiencing sexual attraction but not often, or on specific circumstances) and demisexual (only experiencing sexual attraction after establishing a close bond first). These can also be for romantic attraction.

My own experience of Asexuality has been a tough one. I am an asexual demiromantic which means I experience no sexual attraction and only experience romantic attraction with those I get attached to. My first boyfriend broke up with me because of this – though neither of us knew it at the time. Because I was not “romantic” enough, he ended the relationship with me. (It's all a happy ending though because it turns out he's gay!) I discovered my asexual label after being given a sex talk from my LGBTQA+ Support Group, and realised sex was not a thing I enjoyed.

It brought me down, to be honest. We live in a society that is centred around sex and love. Our movies have soppy romance scenes and sexy times; our posters have naked men and women kissing with a grayscale filter; we don't ask “Have you gotten laid?” but rather “How many have you laid?” The very fact that I can't fall in love and date as many as others, and the fact I can't understand why sex is such an exciting thing for everyone, makes me feel depressed and alienated from society. But I am learning to accept who I am.

 Those who identify as asexual are not “broken”. They are not “scared”, or “frigid” or “prudes”. It's not a case of “you'll change your mind” or “you just haven't found the right person”. And, in the case of the LGBTQA+ community against Asexuality, it doesn't mean we're “basically straight”. We're valid for who we are, and part of the community. 

~ Hollie
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Gender Identity: The Overview

11/9/2016

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In our ever-changing society, people may have noticed lately that a very big stories currently in the media involve ‘transgenders’ – this is particularly in reference to the current problem in America for transgenders and non-binaries involving gendered bathroom. But maybe you’re one of these people sitting here thinking: “What actually are these identities? What on Earth is a non-binary? Does this mean there’s more than male or female? Could I be one of these types of people?” In this article, I will be discussing the genders you’ll most likely come across in the LGBTQ+ community, the idea of different pronouns and how to recognize if you might be somewhere on the spectrum.


To understand the concept, you need to learn the difference between ‘sex’ and ‘gender’. They may be the same or similar terms to you but they are actually very different. Your sex is what your genitals are – male, female or intersex. Your gender is how you identify inside and like to be perceived as by society. Most commonly people are cisgender – this is where you identify as the gender you were assigned with at birth. On the other end of the scale are transgenders / transsexuals – these are people who identify as the opposite gender assigned at birth. For example, a ‘transman’ is someone assigned female at birth but identifies as a male. (Note that transgender is also an umbrella term!)
But there are more than just ‘male’ and ‘female’ on the spectrum! There are a large range of different gender identities too, usually defined as ‘non-binaries’ – those whose gender does not conform to the gender binary of simply ‘male’ and ‘female’. The different types of genders you may come across include, but not limited to:


Agender: To be genderless, lacking gender, or having no gender at all.
                          
Bigender: Identifying as two genders, either simultaneously or changing between the two. This can be male and female, or it can include other non-binary identities.


Demigender: Identifying partially, but not wholly, as a gender. Examples of demigender idenitites include demiboy and demigirl.


Genderfluid: A gender identity that varies overtime, resulting in being unable to exactly define it. It can change at any time to any gender.


Genderqueer: Typically an umbrella term with a similar meaning to non-binary.


Polygender: Identifying as several different genders, similarly to bigender.


Another key feature of gender identies are gender pronouns. Pronouns are words that are used to refer to someone that implies their gender. The most common ones used are she/her (“She stood up”) and he/him (“He walked away”). However, there are some gender neutral pronouns that are used such as they/them (“They smiled at me”). There are also ‘non-traditional’ pronouns such as xe/xem (“Xe waved at us”) and ze/zir (“Ze nodded happily”). Some people also prefer not using pronouns and preferring their name used instead (“John left and John forgot his bag”). Note that some people who are non-binary may still prefer using gendered pronouns.


Those who also are transgender or non-binary often go through a name change to feel more comfortable. This could be a change of name to the opposite gender, whether it’s a different variation (such as a Michael changing to a Michela) or a different name entirely (such as an Emma changing into a Liam). Some people may also prefer to choose a unisex name (such as a James changing to a Cody).


It’s hard to figure out if you might identify as any of these genders, and it’s okay if you end up questioning for a long time – it’s took me just about a year to figure out a label I felt good with because my gender kept changing so much, and much longer to ponder whether I should end up with gender neutral pronouns – even still my gender still puzzles me and I’m debating on having a gender-neutral name.


All in all, that’s pretty much gender summed up as best I can! I may have missed out some things but this is the extent of my knowledge without diving too deep. Don’t be afraid if you identify as any of these genders – you’re still valid, whatever you identify as! And feel free to reply to the article with anything else you think should be included, or if you have any questions.


~ Hollie
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    Hollie

    ​Always remember to be so good, nobody can ignore you. Welcome to my little corner, friend. I hope you enjoy my articles.

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