Pride should never be the reason for you to keep from seeking proper medical treatment for any mental ailment. Yet that seems to be the most common reason that people refuse to seek out treatment because the stigma of having a mental disorder is so damaging to people’s pride. A study conducted by the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) back in 2008 found that, 3.4 percent of adults in the United States received treatment for a mental health problem. This includes all adults who received care in inpatient or outpatient settings and/or used prescription medication for mental or emotional problems. The Health and Human Services website, with a statistic cluster from 2014 about the frequency of mental health disorders, saying: One in five American adults experienced a mental health issue, one in 10 young people experienced a period of major depression, and one in 25 Americans lived with a serious mental illness, such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, or major depression. Mental illnesses are frequent occurrences and yet, the stigma of seeking help still burns brightly within our society.
My experience with my depression and anxiety has been a long hard road. There were times where I was resistant to therapy and embarrassed to tell people that I was attending therapy for my depression and anxiety. It doesn’t make any sense to me now, but back then, all I worried about was how people would treat me “differently”. My pride was keeping me from the help I desperately needed to preserve my sanity. It got so bad for me, to the point where I felt like I was going insane and it clicked inside of me that I needed the help I was so desperate to deny. Now, I don’t have qualms about therapy or talking openly about my struggles with mental illness. Granted, I am still resistant to trying medication as a treatment option out of personal preference, but it’s not because of my pride. And people did treat me differently when I openly spoke about my therapy and struggles with depression and anxiety. They treated me like I was brave. I have realized that many of my problems with explaining my mental disorders to other people: the misinformation of individuals about mental health and the way mental health is mistakenly portrayed. On the Health and Human Services website, I saw a whole list of mental illness “myths” or mistaken beliefs held by the general populous in America. Some of the things, like people with mental illness can’t hold jobs or that they’re violent and unpredictable or that serious character flaws are the causes behind mental illnesses, surprised me with their inaccuracy. This enlightened me to why the stigma is so prevalent in people’s choices about seeking treatment. My advice may seem like a hard pill to swallow, but I strongly suggest that you seek the necessary help if you are still hesitant about treatment for whatever you have. Because your problem isn’t going to solve itself of get any better with inaction and fear; it is only going to make it worse. I’d also advise accepting that some people won’t understand what you’re going through and won’t be willing to take the time to understand, so you’re better off just not sweating their opinion. Surround yourself with supportive individuals; people that genuinely care about your well-being and betterment. Healing and the road to recovery starts with support and care from others. Finally, be open about your mental disorder. Honesty and people being open will be the only way that the stigma will be broken. Asking for help and seeking out help when you’re stuck with a problem can be bittersweet and humbling. I went through the denial for a long time before I gave into what was good for me. I encourage you to join the brave few that opened up about their mental disorders and forced pride to take the backseat this time.
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What is writing? According to the definition I pulled up on Google, writing is: (n) the activity or skill of marking clear words on paper and combining text. But news flash: It's a whole lot more than just that. Writing is an all-encompassing skill that spans of spectrum of creative, social, and analytical. [ET1] Writing is a skill that we use on a daily basis; one I am using at this very moment by typing this article. But many people neglect to write more than they have to, and this leads into a deficiency of certain skill sets. People who write more often, especially in the creative sector; have better communication and leadership skills, grew emotionally stronger in tough times, become more gratuitous individuals, lowered their number abandoned ideas/creations, and improved their educational and learning skills.
A blog entry from https://www.helpscout.net/blog/benefits-of-writing/ titled "The Psychological Benefits of Writing", cites numerous research theses that all lead to the same conclusion: that writing makes people happier and healthier individuals the more they do it. Contributing op-ed New York Times writer for work and psychology Adam Grant, claims that expressive writing has also been linked to improved mood, well-being, and reduced stress levels for those who do it regularly. He also quoted a study done with recently fired engineers: “Th[ET3] e engineers who wrote down their thoughts and feelings about losing their jobs reported feeling less anger and hostility toward their former employer. They also reported drinking less. Eight months later, less than 19% of the engineers in the control groups were reemployed full-time, compared with more than 52% of the engineers in the expressive writing group.” Other studies have been conducted with various groups like victims of traumatic events or undergraduate students; but the results were similar, showing those who write more often having a larger proportion of success. I have always been a huge proponent of constant, expressive writing. I've had a history of on and off therapy since I was 6 years old and roadblocks like ADHD, depression, and anxiety. But one of the major de-stressors I've relied on in my life is writing, especially creative writing. When I was 12 years old I began writing (and still am to this day) my first novel idea. Whenever I find myself stressed out with school or issues with other people in my life; I always take some time for myself and write that novel. Afterwards, I am always more calm and have given myself enough time to relax before taking another shot at solving my problems. Sometimes, all we need is a quick break for the world that tries to cave in on us. I have without a doubt forgotten the exact amount of manuscripts I've created based a small idea that popped into my mind, but I know that every time I am caught up in the process of writing, I am at my happiest. My writing has allowed me to connect with people and escape the weight that the world burdens on my shoulders for a little bit. Writing constantly forced me to expand my mind, in all directions, for character development and plot creation; to learn things about myself that I never would’ve figured out about myself at all. Whenever I wrote, it was like I grew wings and flew away to somewhere wonderful; a place where I could fit in and not be judged by anyone about anything. When I wrote, I was finally free from life’s struggles. My advice to people struggling with whatever it may be, is to write. Writing is a powerful tool that is at your disposal; but sadly, it is often ignored or forgotten. So, don't just shove it off to the side any longer. Clear some time to write about something important. I suggest journal the positives and negative events of your day as a starting point. For those of you who are more left-brained and creative, try your hand at creative writing. You may not know what to write about, but the internet is ablaze with so many ideas. You could even write about yourself and place yourself in a situation of your choice: that's what I used to do. There is something liberating about imagining yourself unattached to the stresses of your daily life and somewhere special if only for a few minutes. Something that I often do when I am going through a tough situation, I remove myself from the situation and make my characters go through my situation. By removing yourself from whatever situation you find yourself wrapped up in (being the writer), it affords you an opportunity to resolve problems without being blinded by your emotions. As the writer, it isn’t your feelings involved, and thus, you are then free to look at it through the lens of an outsider. Writing is something that transcends one situation and all the tips I shared above are ones that I have used for years (and have always worked). In conclusion, writing is a win-win situation. You’re able to healthily work through feelings and overwhelming stress and the world receives a gift of your talents. So, go on, start writing about anything or everything and then, you'll really see your wings start to grow… Life can be hard, there’s no doubts about it. With life comes plenty of ups and downs; the downs sometimes knocking their feet from under a person and hitting them hard. Divorce, family illness, bullying, stress… these events are all catalyst to spur depression in an individual. However, what is being steadily forgotten by the world is that there is a very clear line between having clinical depression and just feeling sad over something. Therapia, an addiction healing center, has an article on their website that examines the difference between sadness and depression since depression is a co-occurring disorder that is often attached to addiction. The website describes sadness as, “If you’re feeling sad, but you don’t really have a reason, or if you feel disproportionately sad over something upsetting, you may be experiencing depression. Sadness can usually be attached to a specific cause, and only lasts for a couple of weeks at most.” Sadness still allows you to express your emotions and you can usually trace the origin while depression robs some of its victims of expression of their emotions and is nearly impossible to pin down.
I have quite the experience with this topic; seeing that I have wrote about it before in my article The Normalization of Depression. However, this takes it to a much more serious level, especially if someone is not treated correctly for what they have. I have seen kids at my school, who I am genuinely worried for and I swear that they might have depression, try and burden themselves with so much and shrug off any potential signs of depression as just momentary emotional weakness. Then there are people who are completely fine, in terms of mental health, but are more on the melodramatic side of things. The moment they feel sad or are going through something semi-challenging, they throw around the “depressed” label for sympathy or attention. In my opinion, both sides of this spectrum are dangerous and have impacts for depressed people like me everywhere. People now assume when I say that I suffer from depression that I either mean that I am temporarily sad or I am using the disorder to get depression; despite what I know in my heart. They cannot see the mornings where I wake up and want to go back to sleep because I don’t feel like engaging in life or the nights where I cry myself to sleep and I can’t figure out why or the times where I feel numb inside and nothing seems to matter. Depression is a serious issue, one not to be thrown around lightly. Yet, it continues to persist in my life and the lives of those I meet. My advice for anyone reading who is struggling to decipher what side of the line they stand on is to seek help. You and those around may not always be the best judge of what your mental state is. Seeking out the proper mental health professionals is one giant step towards figuring out the problem. Those who are depressed, I would recommend you be open about you illness and not be afraid to be seen as “weak”. I urge you to continue to push on and do the things you love; not letting depression keep you from living your life to the best of your abilities. Medication is another option, however, that is your personal choice (with the advice or suggestion from a medical professional) to make. For those of you who are maybe going through a rough patch and are sad, talking about what is getting you down would be my best suggestion. Letting all of your stresses and problems into the open and letting someone you trust in to help you overcome these issues will go long way to helping you through your current sadness. The line between these two worlds, known as sadness and depression can get a little blurry sometimes. People take it upon themselves to decide when they might not be the best fit to do so. But seeking help and clearing up the difference between these two worlds is worth it. In industrialized countries like America, education is seen as the core of success by society and the metric used to determine a successful student is grades. When exaggerated and unnecessary stress is placed on students, they are at a higher risk of exposure to mental setbacks like test anxiety. Test Anxiety is defined, by Cal Poly San Luis Obispo College, as “a physical or mental reaction to feelings of agitation or distress that you might feel before or during an exam”. The article also explains how test anxiety can worsen one’s performance on an exam from blanking out to a full-blown panic attack during the exam.
Symptoms fall into three categories: physical, emotional, and behavioral symptoms. Symptoms such as light-headedness and headache (physical), feelings of anger or despair (emotional), loss of concentration and negative thinking (behavioral) are all examples of indicators that you may be struggling with test anxiety. The prevalence of test anxiety is an alarming among American students. A survey conducted by the American Test Anxieties Association found that 16-20 percent of students suffer from severe test anxiety and another 18 percent suffer from moderate test anxiety. Test Anxiety has been an obstacle that I have come up against for quite some time. Personally, I have grappled with math for years and test anxiety did not make things easier. Countless hours were spent studying the material in the hopes that my scores would improve, Yet, I struggled through every quiz and exam because of my anxiety. It was a frustrating experience. Above all, it made me feel stupid for not being able to understand basic concepts when my issue has nothing to do with rationalizing concepts- it had to do with my inability to combat my panicking mind on a test. Going to a top-academically ranked school in my home state of California, I bear witness to fellow students breaking down over their inability to overcome test anxieties in the subjects that they find challenging. Not to mention, all we hear from teachers is that our grades are the only things that matter and that we can’t fail. This mentality leads to the creation of a whole generation so afraid of failure that the prevalence of mental illness spikes drastically. I have compiled a list of tips that I’ve personally used to improve my performance in the face of anxiety. 1. Never cram for the test the night before and practice good test-taking habits. These are the first steps in fighting the paralyzing effects of testing anxiety. Spreading out the memorization of relevant information over the course of a few weeks not only helps with learning the information in a more efficient way, but also works against test anxiety. 2. Give yourself breaks of time to engage in distressing activities. By engaging in activities such as; yoga, listening to music, playing video games or any other stress-relief activity, you are able to stave off pre-exam anxieties and allow your brain time to process the information. 3. Taking care of yourself, both mentally and physically, can help minimise your chances of becoming ill. Eating healthy and getting decent sleep will keep your brain in better shape and will reduce the amount of stressors that can arise before your exam. 4.Seek out tutoring if you are still struggling. There is no shame in needing a little bit of extra help and it will benefit your results in the long term. Check with your academic counsellor or your teachers for some possible tutors or talk with your parents about hiring a private tutor. Having another person approaching the subject material in a different way from your teacher might help with understanding concepts and lessening anxiety. Also if you are struggling mentally speak to your schools guidance/pastoral care teachers or the school nurse as they can provide support for you. I know that it can be frustrating to struggle with test anxiety and be ready to throw the towel when it feels insurmountable. But test anxiety can be overcome. Cass Here’s a simple fact: cultural positive body image is on the decline and being replaced by low self-esteem and the negative impacts of negative body image. Everywhere you turn, from Instagram to magazines to television, you are perpetually bombarded with 'perfect-looking' people that strike a chord of insecurity within every one of us. The advertisements we encounter daily use models that leave people wondering, “Why can’t/don’t I look like them?”
Per "5 Facts About Body Image” by Mario Palmer, an overwhelming majority of 91% of people are unhappy with their bodies and resort to dieting to achieve their ideal body shape. Unfortunately, only 5% of people naturally possess the body type often portrayed by Americans in the media. Being in that 5% is the equivalent of hitting the genetic lottery. We are tainting our youth with a false mindset that outer appearance is the most important quality rather than kindness or creativity or intelligence; and the effects have already begun to show within the current generations. A statistic from dosomething.org cites that, students, especially women, who consume more mainstream media, place a greater importance on sexiness and overall appearance than those who do not consume as much. Now how does low self-esteem correlate to body image (the way people view themselves and their body)? According to the United States Department of Health and Human services, body image is closely linked to self-esteem; low self-esteem in adolescents can lead to eating disorders, early sexual activity, substance use and suicidal thoughts. People become so consumed by fixing their flaws, that they engage in self-destructed behaviors and don’t realize how their actions impact those around them. People determine their self-worth by the numbers that they see when they step on a scale rather than by the magnitude of their words and actions. Body image is a subject I’m all too familiar with, since I’ve struggled with it since I was six years old. It all began when my parents divorced, which caused an enormous cloud of stress and depression to hang over my head. Because of the stress my parent’s split was causing me, I turned to food as a source of comfort. Thus, I gained close to twenty pounds and people certainly noticed the change. At school, I was taunted with names like “fatty” and bullied by my peers because of the weight I had gained. I had members of my own family subjecting me to thinly-veiled, snide remarks about the way I looked. It didn’t get any better as I grew older; with people getting physically violent in the bullying and venomously aggressive with their verbal assaults. In response to these attacks from those around me, I continued my unhealthy diet habits of stress eating and my depression continued in its downward spiral. I began to lash out in anger towards the people who were my friends because of all the tension I was feeling about the situation. This caused people to feel alienated from me; my mood swings and depression often scared off any potential friends and strained my relationships with some of my closest friends. I had been so wrapped up in my quest to lose weight, in my own way, I had no idea that I was mistreating my friends. Once I finally figured out what I was doing to those closest to me, I had to make a complete 180. I decided that I needed to figure out a healthy way to lose weight, but more than anything else, learn how to feel comfortable in my own skin. My advice is for people to do some serious soul searching about how they feel in their own skin. Throw out all the imagery that the media churns out that makes you view yourself in a negative light and other people’s opinions. I would ask yourself if you are healthy, if you want to change for yourself and no one else, and do you feel comfortable where you’re at. Then, I would take some time to cleanse yourself emotionally and physically. Don’t chase down extreme diets, weight loss pills, waist trainers, absurd exercise regimens because these options don’t work. In fact, they can cause weight gain. The main goal is to live as healthy as you can without stressing out about it too much and keeping yourself mentally healthy. Being a certain size or shape can have positive effects on a person. But what most people forget when they are overwhelmed by a negative view of themselves instead of a positive one, is that the perfect body for them isn’t what the media is putting out there. Everyone is different, so it makes sense that everyone would have a variation of perfect. Perfect doesn’t exist, but the closest that we can get to it is all subjective. We need to remember that we should measure our worth in our happiness over what we weigh or are shaped like. Remember that old rhyme: “Sticks and stones could break my bones, but your words will never hurt me”? Yeah, that is a false perception and harsh words can hurt just as much as broken bones do. In many countries, especially the United States, bullying is a harsh epidemic within our culture that we’d rather turn a blind eye towards. People who are a higher risk target of bullying are: people of colour, mental health or physical disabilities, or members of the LGBT+ community. More than one out of every five (20.8%) students report being bullied (National Center for Educational Statistics, 2016). The bullying problem is so outrageously out of hand, that about one out of five students will be a victim. Students who experience bullying are at increased risk for poor school adjustment, sleep difficulties, anxiety, and depression. There is also a well-known correlation to victims of bullying and suicidal tendencies: A meta-analysis found that students facing peer victimisation are 2.2 times more likely to have suicide ideation and 2.6 times more likely to attempt suicide than students not facing victimisation (Gini & Espelage, 2014). The act of bullying is a perpetual cycle of pain, not only for the victims and their families, but for the bully themselves and whatever drives them to lash out at others.
Elementary school was hell-on-Earth for me because from a young age, because I was bullied. I have always been considered an eccentric person and that was the primary reason that people bullied me. Back in Elementary school, times were rough. I was struggling with my parent’s divorce and was being held back by my ADHD and depression. Not to mention I consumed my time with my studies and educating myself, while showing off to appease the chip on my shoulder. I went to school with a bunch of snobbish children; who were sons and daughters of wealthy parents or families. I obviously didn’t fit in. The other kids shunned me or outright attacked me because I was different than they were on every level. I often found myself entering into pointless fights with some of these grade-school brats, in the name of self-defence, my frustrating pride goading me like the devil on my shoulder or being ignored out of spite by these same kids. It did affect my life and mental state, more from the physical fights and the words I would be called that would cause my blood to boil crimson. By the time middle school rolled around, I grew tired of the fights with catty rich girls or stuck-up wealthy boys. My depression peaked at its lowest point around this time, and things were getting harder to fend off. I began to have suicidal urges since all I wanted was to be left to my own devices; yet I was barraged even further by these kids with harsh taunts that bruised my ego and mental state. I have since regained strength from said mental state and now am stronger than I could’ve ever imagined as a result. Now my advice is simply said, yet harder to do. However, once you do the following steps, you will begin to heal from discrimination. First, you must raise awareness to the administration in charge about the issue. Victims of bullying usually refuse to speak up about their problems or are shut down by the administration; but you have to continue persisting with the administration. Bring awareness to the issue enough and the administration won’t be able to overlook the problems they wish to sweep under the rug. Don’t let them get away with that. Secondly, you need to fight smarter, not harder. By any means, I do not condone violence. By smarter, I refer to the term “pick and choose your battles”. Bullies usually target the individuals who will give them the reaction they desire; whether that be cowering in fear and submissive or willing to engage in a fight and belligerent. Ignore these bullies or take the high road, because they won’t take pleasure in your non-existent response and will start to leave you alone when they realise that you aren’t going to give them satisfaction or stoop to their level. Thirdly, don’t be a bystander. Don’t be a bystander “too afraid to speak up” and let some other kid get pummelled by a bully; the kids being attacked need an ally. When you don’t speak out, you are just as bad as the bully by perpetuating this cycle of pain from your inaction. You can stand up for these kids and the bullies won’t want to pick a fight they think they might lose. Lastly, forgive your bully but do not forget. Often times, people confuse the act of forgiving with forgetting. You need to forgive your bullies for yourself; otherwise they occupy “rent” in your thoughts and your negative emotions are extended. However, don’t forget how they have transgressed against you. Forgetting means that you justify what they have done to you, but forgiveness is what frees you from a bully’s control. Bullying is a serious issue that people want to forget; people choose to submerge the idea that bullying is a painful experience. If you are a victim of this epidemic, don’t internalise that pain. You are free to admit words can hurt, it doesn’t make you weak. “I’m going on a diet.”
A phrase becoming increasingly more common in our society; due to the increase of social body negativity. In 2010, 54% of adults said that they were currently on a diet. That’s the most since survey results were first taken in 1986. Diet fads have gradually increased with the rise of social media platforms like Instagram; which studies have shown affect people’s self-esteem and body perception. Diet fads may appear to be the quick-and-easy solution to losing unwanted weight, however, these fads have not only a low success rate, but also unforeseen consequences to a person’s body. An article from The New York Times, entitled Why You Can’t Lose Weight on a Diet, points out this astonishing figure: “After about five years, 41 percent of dieters gain back more weight than they lost. Long-term studies show dieters are more likely than non-dieters to become obese over the next one to 15 years. That’s true in men and women, across ethnic groups, from childhood through middle age.” According to http://healthresearchfunding.org/23-exceptional-fad-diet-statistics/, the average American adult tries to implement a fad diet 4 times per year and within two weeks, 25% of Americans will give up on their weight loss goals. Fad diets are followed because they seem to work and work fast. The truth is that any diet can help someone lose weight and it can be dangerous to lose a lot of weight quickly. My personal experience with dieting, as a general area, is a lengthy and tedious one. It all began when I was younger, I was considered overweight. I heard it everywhere: from your friendly neighborhood doctor’s to hushed whispers down the school hallways. Hearing the word ‘fat’ always had a shaming effect on me; and it certainly caused my mother to be ashamed of me. She would often chastise me about my weight in public or at home, not caring who heard how she tore my self-esteem down. I can honestly remember crying myself to sleep some nights because I hated that my mother was ashamed by my looks yet I was finding it nearly impossible to stop emotional eating. The stress about my body, coupled with the bullying I received and my depression, lead me to succumb to more emotional eating. I couldn’t help myself as I fell deeper into a downward spiral of loathing. I would try to force myself on diets, work out hard, and try the latest fitness fads I read in lobby room magazines. Nothing seemed to work. In fact, all my efforts only actively worked against my goal of achieving a “better” body. I was astounded by my inability to follow through with the seemingly simplistic plans that I aligned for myself. It wasn’t until the last 3 years or so, that I realized the way I was going about my weight. I stopped worrying over the crazy diets I was forcing upon myself; instead eating the foods I wanted in smaller portions. I chose workouts that I enjoyed rather than ones that would show the quickest results but make me miserable. After these changes, I began to see the changes that I was searching for and I was doing it my way. My advice on this topic is relatively simple and broken up into two parts: the purely physical and the mental changes. The first thing I would advise is to start a relatively healthy diet, not completely cutting out anything “unhealthy”. Have everything and anything in moderation, because forcing yourself away from certain foods works against you just like overeating. Portion control and the numbers of meal per day is everything when it comes to managing your weight and dieting. Eating smaller meals more frequently throughout the day does wonders for managing your cravings and keeping weight, because you are less hungry due to the frequent meals while the smaller portions are measuring the number of calories you’re intaking. I would try to discover exercises that you would enjoy doing, because you won’t follow through with your workout plan if you are miserable. I would advise that you evaluate your feelings towards your body before pursuing a fitness regimen. Do it for yourself, not for anyone else or anyone else’s feelings. Harboring desire to change the way you look is not an uncommon feeling nor is it wrong for you to feel that way. But if you decide to follow through with changing the way your body looks; you should be careful about how you try to go about it. A healthy body is attainable, easier than you think. Extreme diets and exercise aren’t the path to go. With mostly heathy dieting and moderate exercise, you can stay in shape the right way. 2016 marks a devastating loss for the self-proclaimed feminists, as the champion of women in politics (Hillary Clinton) lost the election to a man who has a history of nonexistent respect for women (Donald Trump). But I draw the line in the sand when people harmlessly declare their support for feminism are declared "FEMINAZIS" by ignorant individuals. There is a huge difference between feminism and the degrading term of feminazi. According to Merriam-Webster, feminism is the theory of the political, economic, and social equality of the sexes. Being a feminazi apparently means that a girl (or a guy, but usually females) hates the male gender and believes in female supremacy. Two very different viewpoints, differentiated by the word "equal".
An article from a website called Heat Street waged a harsh assault against the movement of feminism, claiming that feminists were more riled up than usual and that they were lashing out against "anyone with a Y-chromosome" from their hatred of the male gender. This surprised me that people still are ignorant over the difference between actual feminists and male-hating "feminists". Actual feminists are unfairly grouped together with feminazis because the feminist agenda has been hijacked by the latter group and no one has done anything about it. Feminazis are the louder of the two groups, and that unfortunately leaves a negative impression on most people. The well-intentioned ideals of feminism of equality for all people no matter of gender, race, creed, religion, sexual orientation are lost in the battle for control. Just the other day I had a talk with my father about feminism. He tried to dismiss the conversation because he didn't want to hear about how "women were supposedly better then men and all that annoying stuff". I was momentarily shocked but I quickly got over it rather quickly- since I had been coming across these kind of comments more than usual as of late. I calmly explained the creed of feminism and how our platform has been hijacked by these feminazis under the guise of "feminists". If my father, who isn't overly into various social media sites, mistakenly but not maliciously lumps feminists and feminazis then there are certainly more people out there who are unaware of the truth. My advice to feminists or anyone really when noticing a feminazi spreading a negative image under the guise of feminism, I urge you to call it out. Feminists already have a hard time being taken seriously for their message of equality, so these other people spreading around a false message adds another insurmountable struggle to our shoulders. Simple as that. Cassandra Depression has become something that people have normalized, in our society. Too many people will go around, crying like a wounded animal to anyone who will listen that they are depressed in some manner. But they're truly searching for sympathetic attention, lavished onto them out of pity. But people are allowed to get away with doing that, because those who actually suffer from depression don't speak out about it. Maybe out of shame or fear. But instead, we bury our emotions hoping that they will go away and pretend like everything is alright. But this causes more problems for us in the long run.
A statistic from the American Association of Suicidology states that untreated depression is the number one risk for suicide among youth. Suicide is the third leading cause of death in 15 to 24 year olds and the fourth leading cause of death in 10 to 14 year olds. Our society no longer takes depression seriously. People too often dismiss one's cry for help as a selfish gimmick for attention. That reminds me of a time, in the last year or so. My life has been through its highs and lows, with my severe depression being the only constant in my life. I have become so good at the mask, pretending like I am not slowly withering away from the inside every single day, to the point where I can't even distinguish where the lies end and my feelings begin. I was speaking to a girl that I considered a close friend about life in general, when I hesitantly broached the topic of my depression. I admitted to her that I have suffered with clinical depression for as long as I could remember, a byproduct of my parent's divorce and bullying. What I didn't expect was for her to snort mockingly, "You don't have depression because you are way too happy." I was taken aback by this girl's ability to eagerly discount my struggles. This girl thought she knew better than me about what occurred in mylife. She was never there when I had the days where the world was a monotone, monochromic hell that suffocated me. Or how about the days where it was too hard for me to get out of bed from the sheer pain and loathing? I should've said something, stood up for the people like me who bury their emotions down inside of themselves, just hoping that they would disappear. Instead, I just did the only thing I knew how: bury. In hindsight, I advise you to not bury what you feel. I have a process I've created called therapeutic journaling. It requires that a person journals all the emotions they feel, negative or positive, onto a single piece of paper. This gets the emotions out in the open, keeps you from internalizing them. Then, dispose of the pages in any manner you like (e.g. Ripping them up, burning them, etc.). Internalizing your emotions only serves to give more control to your depression. Don't allow your depression to control you, like how I used to let mine control me. Emotions aren't supposed to be used against you like weapons, so don't allow them to be. Don't continue to bury. Valentine's Day is just around the corner; and love is in the air. Couples, new and old, are expressing their love for one another by simple words to lavish gifts. Groups of single friends use the holiday to celebrate their independence or find love in other singles. But, what most people don't think about: is the individuals suffering on Valentine's Day from a broken heart. Heartbreak is the instantaneous mood dampener for anyone's life. And around this time of year, heartbreak is the most bittersweet experience.
According to stageoflife.com, a survey website for teenagers and their issues, 66% of high school and college students admit to having had their heart broken. This happens more to girls than boys (70% of girls have had their heart broken verses 53% of boys). Heartbreak is not an uncommon occurrence, but in our culture now, people seem all too eager to dismiss the notion all together. By that, I mean the whole "get over it" attitude that people give to the ones with broken hearts. In my experience, I have seen heartbreak both ways: as an outsider looking in and the one left broken in the dust. One of my closest friends Ellie* was dumped out of the blue by her boyfriend (who was like a brother to me). Only a day or two after, her ex openly galavants with a girl; that most of us suspected he was cheating on Ellie with. Ellie was heartbroken; but instead of love and support from our friends, she was told to "get over it" and "stop being a baby". It was appalling the way she was treated by a majority of our friends. Now, I too have suffered an ill-fated broken heart and I still am heartbroken over this boy: Jackson*. I have never made my personal issues a secret from people; which often scared people away. But not Jackson. He was (and still is) always chasing after me, caring about how I felt and what happened to me. I had hope that he would feel the same way I do; but to my dismay, he started dating a girl who treats him terribly. I was utterly shattered because we were so close to that point, but then everything was ripped out from under me. Once again, however, I was treated the same way that Ellie was: weighed down by "get over its" or "you shouldn't feel this/that way". My advice is very clear for those who suffer from heartbreak: EMBRACE YOUR FEELINGS. Your feelings of sadness over this are normal, don't let anyone else tell you otherwise! You need time to grieve what you have lost or what could've been; not be interrupted by people who think they know better. Every person is different, so their processes of getting over tragedy are just as different. Some people might take 3 weeks while others might take 3 years; it's an individual process. That being said, take care of yourself and don't let heartbreak hurt you any harder than it has to. For people who have a heartbroken friend, my advice would be to be sympathetic. Be their for the person without trying to solve their problems. Listen to them cry, take them to a movie they want to see/go on a shopping trip/etc; just be a support system so that they feel loved and taken care of. Everyone deals with heartbreak at some point in their lives, they just shouldn't have to go it alone. (*name changed for protection of identity) Cassandra |